( chuckling )
Well, can I just sayI love it here
and I definitely wannabe your housemate.
I do need to warnyou about one thing.
So you haven't metAmy yet, she's great.
She does havea boyfriend
who comes over alot and they fight.
Oh, well, all couplesfight, I think.
Uh, it's crazy,it's really shocking
the things thatthey say to each other.
( voices approaching )All your thoughts are...
Here we go.
...from elderly people,from old people, yeah.
You know what you are,you're a poop person.
I'm a poop person?
God poopedin his hand,
threw it at earthand you're that poop.
Oh, our Lord and Saviorpoops in His hand?
You know what, I hopeyou have to sneeze like...
and it just doesn'thappen for you.
I hope that you getstuck in traffic lights
and you just missthe green one!
( gasping )
I hope that the next timethat you go to a wedding
you're wearing thesame dress as someone else
and it becomes thejoke of the night.
You have to takepictures with that person.
Well, I hope that next time youwatch an episode of "Homeland"
that the DVR cuts out before yousee scenes from the next week
so to find outwhat happened
you have to justlike ask around the office
or look online likea homeless person!
And I hope that the nexttime you go to a concert
that the band doesn't playthe song you wanna hear
and instead, they just playsongs off their new album!
Or like a jam sessionor something...
I think we might needto call the police.
Katia, get in here,he's lost his damn mind!
Whoa, Oh, my God,Oh, my God.
David, putthat down.
David, thisisn't you.
You don't wannado this.
( screaming )
( crying )
You need to leaveright now.
Is that whatyou want, Amy?
What I want,
is for you to accidentallysit on your cell phone.
And I want you to touchfour P's in a row
to someone you haven'ttalked to in a long time.
You know what-- I hope the nexttime that you take a shower
the shower curtainclings to you
and no matter what you do,you can't get it off you.
You can get it off you,but for the rest of the day,
you never reallyfeel clean!
And I'm not comingback here ever.
Unless thisblows over.
( sobbing )
It's over now, okay?
He almost wentso insane...
There was amoment there.
Hey, this is Karen.
She might movein with us.
You didn't even tellme you're moving out,
you dumb ( bleep )?
I'm sorry you guys,this is my boyfriend.
You know what?
You're the ( bleep )!
y don't you getyour ( bleep )
out of your( bleep )!
Why don't you get the( bleep ) out of your ears
and get your skank-ass
and get the rest ofyour ( bleep ) out here.
You know what,I hope you rot in hell
after you watch every singleperson you love die.
You are a white trashpiece of ( bleep ).
You are the reason why yourstepmother killed herself.
Oh, my God!
Get back here.
You are a ( bleep )( bleep ) ( bleep ).
She's so cool.
Yeah, she'sreally nice.