Patton Oswalt - Jennifer Aniston Movies

Season 1 , Ep 101 Views: 27,990

Patton Oswalt suggests an idea to make trailers for romantic comedies more enticing. (2:02)

SHOULD JUST BE CALLED

"TRYING TO FUCK."

THIS WEEK...

(cheers and applause)

>> Patton: (laughs)

"THIS WEEK,

JENNIFER ANISTON AND THIS GUY

ARE GONNA TRY TO FUCK.

NEXT WEEK,

JENNIFER ANISTON AND ANOTHER GUY

ARE GONNA TRY TO FUCK.

WILL THEY FUCK?

PROBABLY.

FROM THE WRITER OF 'NEH?'

AND THE DIRECTOR OF 'NEH,'

COMES 'BLEH.'"

(cheers and applause)

>> Patton: (moans)

WHOO!

(cheers and applause continues)

>> Patton: WHY DO--

WHY DO THEY MAKE TRAILERS

FOR JENNIFER ANISTON MOVIES?

THEY MAKE--

THEY ALWAYS MAKE

A SET AMOUNT OF MONEY.

WHAT DO THEY CARE?

I WOULD ACTUALLY--

I WOULD--I WOULD ACTUALLY

GO SEE A JENNIFER ANISTON MOVIE

IF SHE DID A TRAILER,

AND THE WHOLE TRAILER

IS ONE MINUTE

OF A MONKEY SHITTING.

THAT'S THE WHOLE TRAILER.

THAT'S ALL IT IS.

THEY'RE JUST--IT JUST SAYS,

"THIS CHRISTMAS,

JENNIFER ANISTON..."

AND THEN THERE'S A MONKEY

IN A NAPOLEON HAT

AND HE'S JUST, FOR ONE MINUTE,

NONSTOP, JUST...

(imitates passing gas)

AND NOT EVEN, LIKE--

NOT EVEN, LIKE,

HEALTHY TURDS EITHER.

THAT WEIRD, LIKE,

INTERMITTENT DIARRHEA SPRAY--

LIKE IT CLEARLY HURTS,

LIKE THE MONKEY'S

ANGRY ABOUT IT.

SO JUST LIKE THIS...

(imitates explosion)

"AAH!"

(imitates explosion)

"AAH!"

LIKE IT--LIKE--LIKE THE MONKEY

WANTS TO PUNCH HIS OWN ASS.

HE'S ANGRY AT HIS OWN ASS

FOR SHITTING

THE WAY IT'S SHITTING.

SO JUST... (imitates explosion)

"AAH!"

"JENNIFER ANISTON."

LIKE, WOW.

WE SHOULD GO SEE THAT.

THAT'S... MY GOD.

WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?

THAT'S AWESOME.

>> Audience: (cheering)

>> Patton: THERE BETTER BE

MORE THAN ONE MINUTE

OF THAT MONKEY SHITTING, THOUGH.

THAT... THAT MONKEY

BETTER SHIT FOR FIVE MINUTES.

THEY BETTER NOT HAVE JUST

SHOWN ME THE BEST PART

OF THE MO-- (laughing)

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