Richard Lewis - Living for Food

Bill Hicks & Jeff Stilson Season 1, Ep 0126 02/24/1992 Views: 1,313

Richard Lewis' grandparents lived for food. (2:09)

I GET CONFUSED THANKINGFOR OTHER PEOPLE BUT...

ACTUALLY THISWHOLE AREA REMINDS...

YOU CAN JUST SMELL THE FOOD,CAN'T YOU?

WAFTING IN FROM THE OCEAN

ALL THOSE TUNA FISHWHO ARE POISONED UNNECESSARILY.

BUT MY GRANDPARENTSUSED TO LIVED HERE.

"USED TO LIVED HERE."

GOOD NIGHT, NO GRAMMAR.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I NEVER STUDIED GRAMMAR.

I HAD THE ENGLISHTEACHERS WHO DID

LIKE DAVID COPPERFIELD,NO GRAMMAR

AND THAT'S WHY I MAKE A FOOLIN FRONT OF STRANGERS

WHICH IS WHY I MAKE A LIVING.

BUT MY PARENTSAND MY GRANDPARENTS LIVED HERE.

MY PARENTS MOVED BACK TO JERSEY

BUT THEY ACTUALLY SETTLEDMY GRANDPARENTS

IN A LITTLE PLACE HERE...BUT FOOD WAS THEIR LIFE.

THEY HAD A LITTLECORNED-BEEF-SHAPED POOL

IN THEIR MOTEL,AND LIFE WAS FOOD.

I GO, "GRANDMA,I DON'T FEEL WELL.

I'M SUICIDAL."

SHE SAYS, "YOU'RE HUNGRY.

YOU'RE JUST HUNGRY."

I WENT, "OKAY."

BUT THE BREATH--

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,WE ALL HAVE BAD BREATH--

BUT MY GRANDMOTHER'S BREATH,IT WAS LIKE MOTHRA.

I MEAN, YOU'D CHANGE YOUR GOALS.

YOU'D GO, "HI, GRANDMA.

I'M GOING TO STUDY COMPUTERS."

( in a breathy voice: )"OH, GOOD FOR YOU."

"BUT YOU KNOW,I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.

I DON'T FEEL..."

SHE WAS JUST, UH...

AND THEY COULDN'T COOK.

IT WAS SO SAD.

PARTICULARLY ON THANKSGIVING,MY GRANDMOTHER MADE...

SHE FAKED US OUT.

SHE MADE TURKEY ROLL.

THIS IS THAT CRAPTHAT IS MANUFACTURED

WHERE THEY MAKE BOMBS, I THINK.

AND WE HAD A DINNER ONCEFOR 30 PEOPLE

AND IT WAS AT LEAST12 FEET LONG.

IT'S THAT FAKE CR...

IT LOOKS LIKE VASELINEON A HYDROGEN BOMB

BUT SHE GLUED TWO REAL WINGSON THE END OF IT

AND WE DOVE FOR THE REAL CRAP.

BUT IT WAS, LIKE... IT WAS SAD.

AND OF COURSE, SADLY,ONE OF MY UNCLES

ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO, HE DIED.

HE FELL OFF THE WILD MOUSE AT ANAMUSEMENT PARK IN JERSEY CITY...