If you're feeling a palpablesexual excitement in the air,
it's probably because the vicepresidential debate was tonight.
-Oh! There they...-(applause and cheering)
Tim Kaine and Mike Pence,otherwise known as
white guy 37Band white guy 55C squared off...
Hang on. That's Mr. Belding andthe dad from That '70s Show.
Jack, will you pleaseput up the right photos?
No, Jack. That is Ned Flandersand a bowl of rice.
Please find photosof the VP candidates.
-All right, that's better. Uh...-(laughter)
-Now...-(applause and cheering)
Since we were busytaping at the time,
we didn't get to see the debateas it happened,
so we're just assumingthat at some point,
harmonica enthusiast Tim Kainedid a bitching duet
with John Popperfrom Blues Traveler,
and that Mike Pence revealedhe's been a dummy
controlled by Jeff Dunhamthis entire time.
Either way, Americans knows nextto nothing about these two.
So comedians, what's a questionthey should have been asked
to get the coreof these store-brand white guys?
Have you ever owned stockin Cracker Barrel?
-HARDWICK: Points. Points.-(laughter)
-(applause)-Are you Cracker Barrel?
What's your favoriteJimmy Buffett song?
-And you can't say all of them.-HARDWICK: Yes. Points.
-(laughter, applause)-Martha Kelly. -KELLY: Oh.
Should 21st centuryAmerican women be allowed
to get abortionsor just fake boobs?
-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Points. Points.