Uncensored - Behind the Scenes - Cristela Alonzo - Just Be Yourself

Cristela Alonzo Season 2, Ep 12 06/07/2013 Views: 5,733

Cristela Alonzo describes an early-morning comedy show and tries to decide what pair of sneakers to wear for her episode of The Half Hour. (2:13)

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[music playing]

EMCEE: Ladies andgentlemen, Cristela Alonzo.

CRISTELA ALONZO: Everybody thatknows me, whenever they know

I'm going to beon TV, they always

ask, "What shoesare you wearing?"

I am a tomboy.

There's certain things I liketo do that are kind of girly,


I love sneakers, so I bringin a big variety of them.

Why wouldn't I?

So these are my finalchoices for tonight,

and I still haven't decidedwhich ones I'm doing,

so I'm playing around with them.

It's like, what do I want to do?

Do I want to say, hey,let's play B-ball?

Do I want say, hey,I'm a cool tomboy?

Hey, date me?

Do I want to say, hey,vintage, I like older guys?

Or you know, hey, let'sgo out on a safari.

You know?

I don't-- I don't know.

I don't know.

Love it.

I wore these on "Conan" andI consider these good luck.


My name's Cristela.

You guys can call me Cris.

That's my nickname.

Nickname's are cool.

It's like yourfriends are saying,

"Hey, you have a crappy name.

Don't worry, we'llfix it for you."

I have done acollege show at 10:00

in the morning in a cafetoriumfor elementary school students

that were taking a tour ofthe campus at the same time

that war veterans weretaking a tour of the campus.


So they're like, well,if you have any jokes

about like, Disney, or the war?

Who doesn't?

It hurts, right? [laughs]

You ever notice thatwhen you hate someone,

everything they dojust pisses you off?

Look at that bitcheating chicken.

One of my best friends,Kathleen Madigan,

told me that in stand-up comedy,it's not about looking cool.

It's about coming off as real.

Why you eating chicken, bitch?

The more that peoplecan relate to you--

I like your hoody.

The more they're goingto care about you.

You know?

Everybody that triesto be cool, you

can see it on stage themoment they walk on.

If you're yourself, that'sgoing to carry longer

and it's going to have moreimportant than anything else

you can do.

Just be yourself.

It's not part of the joke, guys.

I'm tired.

Hey, there.

If I had a calendar,this would be February.

Thank you guys!

My name is Cristela.

Thank you so much!

Thank you!

[music playing]