Jeff Ross - Laundry Day

Jeffrey Ross: No Offense - Live From New Jersey Season 1, Ep 101 08/22/2008 Views: 50,229

Jeff Ross reveals a personal detail about his past and then critiques the overly casual fashion choices of an audience member. (1:55)

YEP!

I FEEL IT!

BORN IN NEW JERSEY.

I'M FROM A LITTLE TOWN

JUST OFF THE NEW JERSEY TURNPIKECALLED...

[fake coughing]

OH, I LOVE JERSEY, BUT I ALWAYS LIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE,"WHERE YOU FROM, JEFF?"

I'M LIKE, "NEW YORK."

THEY'RE LIKE,"WHERE IN NEW YORK?"

[whispering]"NEW JERSEY."

YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING FUNKY FRESH.

WE'VE GOTAN AMISH GAMBLER HERE.

WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

YEAH.

GOT THE HORSE AND BUGGYIN THE VALET, OR WHAT?

HOW YOU DOING, SIR?

I'M ALL RIGHT.ALL RIGHT.

THANKS FOR WEARING YOUR GOODFLIP-FLOPS TO THE SHOW.

COME UP HERE FOR A SECOND.

COME UP HERE FOR A SECOND.

WE GOT TIME.

DUDE, COME UP HERE FOR A SECOND.

LET ME JUST SEE ONE OF THOSEFOR A SECOND.

CAN I JUST--CAN I JUST--

THIS IS LIKE CSI EVIDENCERIGHT HERE.

THIS IS THE NICEST CASINOIN THE WORLD,

AND YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE,UH, I DON'T KNOW.

JESUS CHRIST HADBETTER FOOTWEAR THAN YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, DUDE?

JEFF.JEFF.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE BITLIKE CURIOUS GEORGE.

HAVE YOU HEARDTHAT BEFORE?

NO, I HAVEN'T.ALL RIGHT.

WOW, WHAT WAS IT, LAUNDRY DAY?WHAT THE HELL.

WEARING FLIP-FLOPSON A SATURDAY NIGHT.

IT'S LIKE TELLINGYOUR BUDDIES,

"HEY, MAN, WE'RE GOINGOUT TONIGHT,

AND ANYBODY MESSES WITH US,I'M NOT FIGHTING."

[applause]

I AIN'T GOT THE PROPERANKLE SUPPORT TO THROW DOWN.

JUST GONNA FLIPPITY-FLOPTHE [bleep] HOME WHILE...