Neal Brennan - White People Can't Relax

Neal Brennan: Women and Black Dudes Season 1, Ep 101 01/18/2014 Views: 17,400

Neal Brennan loves hanging out with his black friends because they can relax in a way that his white friends can't. (2:04)

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Brennan:12 YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL,

THEN I MOVED TO NEW YORK,

STARTED HANGING OUTWITH BLACK DUDES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BANG. BANG. BANG.

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

I DON'T KNOW THEM.THEY JUST ARE HERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU BARELY QUALIFIED, YOU'RESO LIGHT-SKINNED, BY THE WAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ LAUGHS ]

YEAH, SO,I GOT A LOT OF BLACK FRIENDS.

I HAVE LIKE OVER, UH...

OVER 20.

NOW IT'S LIKE ALMOST 30. UM...

NO,I GOT A LOT OF BLACK FRIENDS.

HERE'S THE THINGABOUT MY BLACK FRIENDS.

MY BLACK FRIENDS CAN RELAX IN AWAY THAT MY WHITE FRIENDS CAN'T.

WHITE PEOPLE,WE'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT RELAXING.

YOU KNOW WHY?

I FIGURED IT OUT, 'CAUSE WE'REALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT THE RULES.

AND WHO'S BREAKING THE RULES.

THE OTHER THINGABOUT BEING WHITE --

YOU GOT TO ADMIT IT --WE GOT TATTLETALE IN OUR DNA.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE GOT SNITCH IN OUR BLOOD,WHITE PEOPLE.

I'LL BE AT A NIGHTCLUBWITH MY BLACK FRIENDS.

IT'LL BE PACKED.

EVERYBODY'S DRINKING, DANCING,LAUGHING, HAVING A GREAT TIME,

AND I'M TRYING TO FIT IN LIKE,

"THERE MUST BE 350 PEOPLEIN HERE RIGHT NOW."

"I WONDER WHAT THE FIRE MARSHALWOULD HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

WHITE PEOPLE LOVE THE RULESSO MUCH

THAT WE WILL GOON POLICE RIDE-ALONGS...

FOR FUN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAHOW WHITE THAT IS?

DO YOU EVER TRY TO EXPLAINTHAT TO BLACK PEOPLE LIKE,

"YEAH, I CALL THE PRECINCT.

"I SAY, 'HEY, THIS IS NEAL.

"I'M WHITE, AND I'D LIKE TO GOFOR A RIDE-ALONG.'

"THEY SEND OVER A SQUAD CAR.

"I GET IN THE BACK SEAT,WHICH IS FUN FOR ME

'CAUSE WHAT OTHER OPPORTUNITYWOULD I HAVE TO DO THAT?"

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ LAUGHTER ]