John Oliver - I Hate Tim Tebow

Season 3, Ep 5 08/17/2012 Views: 29,323

Tim Tebow sucks something out from deep inside of John Oliver that he never knew was there. (2:36)

and I do not like this sideof myself and I do not like

that response, either.

That response makes meextremely uncomfortable.

Tim Tebow is objectively afar better human being than

anyone in this room andanyone watching this

on TV at home.

He's far better than all ofus and yet,

and yet he sucks somethingout from deep inside of me

that I never knew was there.

How dare you thank Godinstead of thanking

your offensive line?

Do you have any idea what anoffensive line goes through

during an average game?

For an hour, they are poundedon. Just...


Yes, that is what I thinkhappens.

"Leave him alone!"

I do think British peoplewould actually be

the perfect offensive linemen.

We wouldn't need tophysically do anything.

We would just talk in a stern,authoritative tone of voice.

"Stop it! Stop it now!"

We could Supernanny our wayto a sack-free season.

Anyway, that's not the point.That's not the point.

The point is if I was anoffensive lineman for

Tim Tebow and he did that, I'dfind myself lining up for

the first snap of thefollowing game, saying,

"hey, Tim, I, uh, I caught yourpress conference last week.

"Great to hear God getsuch a shout out, Tim.

"Wasn't he fantastic forus, especially in that

"third quarter when we wereunder all that pressure but

"the amount of time youhad in the pocket.

"How did God get youthat kind of time

"to steal another touchdownfrom your running backs?

"How did that happen?I don't know.

"It's a miracle, it's amiracle.

"Anyway, the point is, Tim, meand the guys were talking and

"we just wanted to saythank you and, you know,

"let's have fun, let'splay hard and let's win.

"How 'bout that, huh? Let's win.

"Okay, game time, let's dothis.

"Do you know what?

"Crazy thought justpopped into my head.

"Let's see how Jesus blocksfor you this time, shall we?