Steve Lemme - Teenage Boys Are Gross

Kevin Heffernan & Steve Lemme - Below the Belt Season 1, Ep 1 11/11/2016 Views: 1,296

Steve Lemme knows exactly what teenage boys do in their spare time -- and he demonstrates it for the audience. (1:24)

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[bleep] dudes, we're so gross.

We're so-- that's the thing.

We're so gross and horny.

Like I love-- I lovethis kid unconditionally,

and I will love himevery day of his life,

probably until heturns around 13,

and then he can moveout of my house.

Because I don't want ateenage boy in my house,

because teenage boysare goddamn disgusting.

Because all theydo is whack off.

And they're toodumb to even do it

properly becausethey think they're

the only ones who are doing it.

And so when theymasturbate, they

do it under a shroudof secrecy and fear,

like a troll ina cave someplace.

You know like, [grunts].

Like if you haveteenage son, and you

left him at home to comehere to the show tonight--

[laughter]