Dave Thomason - Asian Guys Do the Most Bonin'

Marriage Material Season 2, Ep 7 10/17/2014 Views: 2,755

Dave Thomason discusses his recent pet adoption, some confusing stereotypes about Asian men and his true feelings about vaginas. (1:59)

ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND--WE JUST GOT A DOG.

LOOK AT THAT.

YAY.WE GOT A DOG.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU GUYSHAVE EVER GOTTEN A DOG

WITH A SIGNIFICANT OTHER,BUT WHEN WE GOT HIM,

A LOT OF MY FRIENDS WERE LIKE,"OH, DAVE.

"YOU KNOW, THAT'S A REAL SERIOUSCOMMITMENT--DOGS.

"THEY CAN LIVE 13 OR 14 YEARS.

ARE YOU GUYS READY FORTHAT SERIOUS OF A COMMITMENT?"

AND ME AND MY LADYHAD A LONG TALK,

AND WE GOTA TEN-YEAR-OLD DOG.

[laughter]

I GREW UP IN A VERY PLAINAND BORING TOWN

WITH, YOU KNOW,A LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE.

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'VE GROWN OUTOF BEING FROM SUCH A WHITE AREA.

I FEEL LIKEI'M VERY OPEN-MINDED NOW.

I'M NOT RACIST OR ANYTHING.I KNOW THAT.

I KNOW THAT BECAUSEMY GIRLFRIEND IS INDIAN

OR MEXICAN OR SOMETHING.

SHE'S BROWN.

SHE'S A BROWN PERSON,SO I KNOW I'M NOT RACIST,

AND I APPRECIATE THE FACT THATSHE'S NOT ALSO A WHITE PERSON.

I FEEL LUCKY, BECAUSE I WASTALKING TO MY OLD ROOMMATE,

WHO'S ASIAN,AND HE WAS TELLING ME

HOW HE'S BEEN HAVING TROUBLEGETTING DATES

WITH NON-ASIAN GIRLSON DATING WEBSITES,

WHICH I UNDERSTAND.

I THINK, IN GENERAL,ASIAN GUYS HAVE IT PRETTY HARD

WHEN IT COMES TO THE WAYTHE MEDIA SEES THEM, RIGHT?

'CAUSE IN EVERY MOVIEOR TV SHOW,

THEY'RE NEVER, LIKE,THE STRONG, MASCULINE DUDE.

THEY'RE ALWAYS, LIKE, NERDSOR SOME SORT OF ASEXUAL NINJA

OF SOME KIND.

AND IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE,THOUGH,

BECAUSE, LIKE, HOW ARE YOU GONNAPRETEND ASIAN GUYS

AREN'T A SEXUAL PEOPLE,

WHEN THERE ARE1.5 BILLION CHINESE PEOPLE

WALKING AROUNDTHE PLANET, RIGHT?

THAT'S A LOT OF BONIN'.THAT'S THE MOST PEOPLE--

JUST MATHEMATICALLY SPEAKING,THEY'RE DOIN' THE MOST BONIN'.

BUT PEOPLE STILL EMASCULATEASIAN GUYS ALL THE TIME.

THEY GO, "ASIAN GUYS--THEY GOTTHOSE SMALL PENISES."

THEY'RE NOT SMALL--THEY'RE JUST WORN DOWN

FROM ALL THE BONIN'THAT THEY'RE DOING.

I SYMPATHIZE WITH THEM,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,I'M NOT A VERY MASCULINE GUY.

I KNOW THAT.

I MEAN, LIKE I SAID,I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

I LIKE LADIES,BUT I MADE THE REALIZATION

ABOUT MYSELF SORT OF RECENTLY

THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOWIF I LIKE VAGINAS.

ALL I KNOW ISTHAT I DON'T LIKE PENISES MORE.

[laughter]

SO, IF YOU HAVE A THIRD THING,SHOW IT TO ME,

BECAUSE...

I PROMISE YOU A FAIR SHOT.

I'VE ALSO REALIZED THAT MY IDEALPORN IS JUST A NAKED WOMAN,