Loni Love - Don't Do Heat Well

Loni Love: America's Sister Season 1, Ep 0101 05/08/2010 Views: 44,376

Hell is full of vegetarian buffets and people you wouldn't want to hang out with. (1:54)

I THINK THE BIGGEST SURPRISE

WAS MICHAEL JACKSON.

AND THAT WAS SAD, WASN'T IT?

IT TOOK 'EM THREE MONTHS

TO BURY MICHAEL.

I WAS MAD!

HE ALMOST TURNED INTO THRILLER.

[humming Thriller melody]

MICHAEL GONNA BURY

HIS OWN SELF.

"[bleep] Y'ALL.

TAKING TOO LONG TO BURY ME."

I THOUGHT MICHAEL

WOULD BEAT IT.

THAT'S--I'M GONNA STOP.

THE BLACK PEOPLE GONNA

BE WRITING ME.

"DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MICHAEL!

WE'LL MOONWALK ALL OVER

YOUR ASS, LONI."

THESE CELEBRITY DEATHS

HAVE ME THINKING, THOUGH,

ABOUT MY OWN MORTALITY.

I'M LIKE, "I WANT TO GO TO

HEAVEN 'CAUSE I GOT SOME

QUESTIONS I NEED TO ASK GOD.

WHO KILLED TUPAC AND BIGGIE?

WHY DID TON LOC ONLY HAVE

ONE HIT, YOU KNOW?

I LIKE FUNKY COLD MEDINA,

BUT HE COULD HAVE HAD

ANOTHER HIT.

I'M SORRIES."

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE

I'M GOING TO HELL.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL.

I'M A BIG GIRL.

I DON'T DO HEAT WELL.

SEE, I'M OVER HERE SWEATING

LIKE A PIG NOW.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL,

AND YOU KNOW HELL PROBABLY GOT

A BUNCH OF VEGETARIAN BUFFETS.

YOU GOT TO HANG OUT WITH

PEOPLE IN HELL YOU DON'T

WANT TO HANG OUT WITH--

HITLER,

JEFFREY DAHMER,

RICK JAMES TOO.

[laughs]

"RICK, WE GOT TO HEAR

SUPERFREAK AGAIN?

WHAT?"