Judy Gold - Jobs

  • Season 3, Ep 15
  • 09/14/2000
  • Views: 2,058

You've got to love your job to be happy in life. (2:30)

WHAT DO YOU DO?

(man)VOCATIONAL COUNSELOR.

VOCATIONAL COUNSELOR?

I MIGHT HAVE TO SEE YOUAFTER THE SHOW TONIGHT.

VOCATIONAL COUNSELOR.

VOCATIONS--JOBS.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB? (man) YES.

YOU DO? SEE, I CAN TELL WHEN PEOPLE LIKE THEIR JOBS

BECAUSE THEY'RE HAPPY.

STACEY, DO YOU LIKEBEING AN ARCHITECT?

YEAH, SHE'S HAPPY.JEFF?

[in smarmy voice]"I'M AT BASSEN,

"OR WHATEVER THE HELLTHE NAME OF THE SCHOOL IS, MAN.

IT'S SO MUCH FUN, MAN."

I BELIEVE IN ORDERTO BE HAPPY IN LIFE,

YOU HAVE TO LOVE WHAT YOU DO.YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOUR JOB.

I WORKED IN AN OFFICEFOR A WHILE, AND I CAN'T--

I CAN'T SIT INSIDE ALL DAY.

I REMEMBER ALL I USED TO DOALL DAY--

BECAUSE I WAS SO FRUSTRATED,I USED TO CALL THE SEX LINE

AND TRANSFER ITTO PEOPLE'S PHONES.

THAT'S ALL I DID THE ENTIRE--"TIM, LINE ONE."

[in deep voice]"ADVERTISING."

[in sexy voice]"I WANNA LICK YOU.

I WANT TO TOUCH YOUAND RUB YOU"--

IT WOULD BE DIRTIER,BUT WE'RE ON COMEDY CENTRAL.

ANYWAY, SO--

[laughter]

I LOVE DOING STAND-UP.

IT'S A GREAT JOB, I HAVE TO SAY.THE ONE THING I DON'T LIKE--

I DON'T LIKE TO TRAVELAS MUCH ANYMORE.

ESPECIALLY ON VACATION,I WON'T GO TRAVELING.

THE ONLY PLACEI LOVE TO PERFORM IN

AND I LIKE TO TRAVEL TOIS VEGAS.

I REALLY LOVE IT, BUTLAST TIME I WENT TO VEGAS,

I ACTUALLY BROUGHT MY MOTHER,WHICH WAS A--YEAH, HUGE MISTAKE.

'CAUSE I'M ALL EXCITEDTO GO PERFORM.

THE MINUTE WE GETTO THE HOTEL,

MY MOM HAS TO STEALTHE SOAP AND SHAMPOO.

ONE NIGHT I CAUGHT HER DOWNTHE HALLWAY TRICK-OR-TREATING.

SHE KNOCKS ON THIS GUY'S DOOR:

"LOOK, YOU'RE BALD.GIVE ME YOUR SHAMPOO RIGHT NOW."

[laughter]

BUT I WON'T GO ON PLANE RIDESTO GO ON VACATION.

THE LAST REALLY GREAT,LONG VACATION

I TOOK ABOUT EIGHT YEARS AGO,

I WENT TO AMSTERDAM, WHICH WAS--HAVE YOU BEEN? ANYONE BEEN?

IT'S AMAZING.YOU WENT?

DID YOU REALLY GO?HOW LONG DID YOU GO FOR?

(woman) WE WERE THERE FOUR DAYS.FOUR DAYS--

JUST A LITTLE WEEKEND GETAWAY TRIP?

TRAVELING AROUND EUROPE.

OKAY, TRAVELING AROUND EUROPE?

THAT'S GREAT.ANYWAY, UM--

[laughter]

NOW DID YOU GO TO THE ANNE FRANKHOUSE WHILE YOU WERE THERE?

AMAZING--IT'S SO MOVING, THAT ANNE FRANK HOUSE.

IT'S VERY EMOTIONAL. YOU WALK IN--

THE FAMILY LIVED IN THE SMALLESTSPACE FOR 2 1/2 YEARS.

THEY COULDN'T MAKE ANY NOISE FORFEAR OF BEING CAUGHT BY NAZIS,

WHICH WOULD HAVE BEENTHE DEMISE OF MY ENTIRE FAMILY,

'CAUSE THERE IS NO WAYMY MOTHER WOULD HAVE KEPT

HER MOUTH SHUTTHE ENTIRE AFTERNOON.

"JUDITH, I ASKED YOU TO WASHTHAT DISH TEN MINUTES AGO!"

[whispering]"Mom, shut up.We're going to get caught."

"THAT'S RIGHT,WE'RE GOING TO GET CAUGHT.

"AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE

"BECAUSE YOU COULDN'TWASH A [bleep] DAMN DISH!

YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF?"

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