If you're a travelling businessman
visiting Pomona, California,
chances are you'll stay at the iconic Hilltop Hotel.
But recently, hotel manager Kenny Pang
has been eager to attract a new type of clientele:
families on vacation.
- The hotel would like to,you know,
get more families to come inbecause when they--
when they come in,
they will stay a lot longerthan the other guests.
- But as far as I'm concerned,
if you want to attract families,
you have to cater to the needs of the parents.
So I paid Kenny a visit with a way to help.
When couples stay alonein a hotel,
if their relationship'sgoing well,
they'll usually have sex,right?
That's common sense.
- Yeah. But when familiestravel together,
I imagine it's incrediblyfrustrating for the parents
because they're unableto engage in sexual intercourse
because their kids are there.
- [laughing]You know what?
I never, ever reallypay attention to this matter.
But...it's out there.
- Right now, the reason
why parents don't want to have sex while on vacation
is because their children will see and hear them,
leading to permanent developmental damage
which can never be repaired.
But if the Hilltop Hotel could offer a portable soundproof box
that completely isolates the child
from his parents' carnal acts,
they'd quickly become the top hotel choice
for sexually active parents traveling with their children.
- Then, it would still beinside...the room.
Is that what you're saying?Oh, sorry.
- You know, the best partis kids wouldn't see this
as some prisonthey're forced into.
It would be a fun isolation box
that kidsof all ages would enjoy.
If you put it that way,theoretically, maybe.
- Kenny was beginning to see the potential of my idea
and even had some suggestions of his own.
- Every single thingthat kids would love
could go into that box.
I mean, you know,little flashlights, you know,
little stars to, you know,go off at night.
- But before committing to anything,
he wanted to see a working prototype.
So I got to work constructing our first isolation chamber
that would be large enough
to house a child up to 16 years of age.
But since the most important part was the soundproofing,
we layered the inside walls
with 6 inches of rock wool batting
and then added a cork-lined inner chamber
with a pressurized seal that would eliminate vibrations.
Because the box had to be airtight,
I also installed a self-contained breathing system
that would pump oxygen in while scrubbing out the CO2
so the child wouldn't suffocate.
And as a final precaution,
I created a rainforest soundscape
to play inside the box with custom animal calls
that would hopefully camouflage
any sex noises that happened to get through.
With every precaution taken
and the box now decorated to make it exciting for kids,
it seemed like our prototype was complete.
But I knew that if even one sex noise
happened to get through to the inside,
the Hilltop could be liable for traumatizing an innocent child.
So after setting up the box in one of their suites,
I hired two pornographic performers
to help me test it out under real-life circumstances.
Do you normally start,like, kissing a little bit,
and then itgets more and more or--
- It kindof depends on the scene.
I mean, usually, like,sometimes, there's kissing.
Sometimes, it justgoes straight to blowjob.
- Oh, okay.- Yeah.
- While Tony and Holly got ready in the bathroom,
I brought in our test subject...
- How's it going? I'm Nathan.Nice to meet you.
An eight-year-old child actor named Bradley.
- What the heck?
- Pretty cool fort, huh?- Yeah.
- Bradley loved the box.
And after helping him in and showing him how to alert me
in case of an emergency...
You see?That light?
I sealed him inside the chamber...
making sure there was no way he could get out on his own
and ruin his innocence.
Even though Bradley's parents
were fully aware of what was about to happen,
they still insisted on being present during the test.
So I just want to beclear with you guys.
Because this is a test,
I'm gonna have the performersgo at each other pretty hard.
- Okay. - And with that,
I brought Jurgen and Marie into the room so we could begin.
Are you guys ready?- Yeah.
- Okay. Whenever you're ready.- Oh, we're ready.
[both murmuring][kissing sounds]
- I love you so much,Marie.
- Touch me where I like it,Jurgen.
- I gave them your namesto make it more realistic.
- Watch and learn, hon.[laughs]
Oh, you like it whenI beg for that [bleep],
don't you, Jurgen?
- After a few minutes,
the real Jurgen and Marie decided to leave the room.
- There's an alert button.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. I'll take care of him.- Okay. Thanks.
- See you, guys.
With Jurgen and Marie gone,
I was left to monitor the rest of the test on my own.
- [yelling]Oh! Oh!
Oh, God, Jurgen!
[rainforest sounds playing]
- Once I observed the couple had climaxed,
I knew it wasn't gonna get any louder,
so I had them finish up
and brought in something comfortable for them to put on.
And with Holly and Tony out of the room,
it's time to see if my box had worked.
So what was it like beingin outer space?
- Fun.- Did you...hear anything?
- Animal noises.
- Animal noises?
Nothing besides that?
- No.- Nothing?
- My box had passed an initial test.
But with a child's mental health on the line,
I needed to make sure it held up
under even the most extreme circumstances.
So to put it through the ultimate stress test,
I arranged for an additional five performers
to join Tony and Holly for a seven-person orgy.
So these are some ofmy friends here.
Just wanna say hi?
all: Hi.- Yeah.
- Nice to meet you.- Okay.
You know the drill, right?- Yeah.
- Blast off.
- It was clear that if my box could withstand this,
it would hold up in any situation
a hotel client might get into.
So after the 30-minute group session concluded,
I followed up one more time with Bradley.
So, uh...how was that?
- Did you hearanything strange this time?
- No.- Nothing?
- It worked. The box was completely soundproof.
And that meant I could finally
return to Kenny with undeniable proof
that the product was ready to be offered to his guests.
- Oh, is that--
It looks likea space shuttle.
- Oh, God, Jurgen!
[both moaning loudly]
- So, as you can see,
we tested it outin every possible scenario...
- Mm-hmm.- From a couple making love
to a seven-persongroup engagement,
and there was a childin there the entire time...
- Who didn't hear anything.
- So I guess we'll leave the boxin the lobby,
and just let me knowif you want to order any more.
Thank you for the offer,but--
- You don't have to worryabout it--it's my gift to you.
We'll just leave itin the lobby.
- Uh...all right.
Leave it in the lobby, then.Yeah.