Uncensored - Robert Kelly - Farting in a Baby's Face Pt. 1

Robert Kelly: Live at the Village Underground Season 1, Ep 1 01/09/2015 Views: 3,273

Robert Kelly shares the truly inspiring story of a time when he had terrible gas near a stroller. (1:53)

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Be you.

Be you.

Yeah, be you.

I'm serious.

She's smoking hot.

But you still give ashit what she thinks.

Stop it.

You're a piece of shit too.

be you.

Push her in a bush tonight.

Who gives a shit?

Do it.

She be mad for two days.

You'll laugh for nine yearsremembering her sexy shoe

foot sticking out of a bush.

And she's wearing a dress.

That would be a bush in abush, the best story ever told.

You could go country tocountry. [foreign accent]

Tell the bush in a bush story.

I don't care.

I don't care anymore.

I farted in a baby's face.

You heard me, a baby, nota child that could run away

and defend itself with Kung-Fu--a heavy-headed defenseless


All he could do was--

I don't fart in baby's faces.

That's not my thing.

That's no what I do.

It's what I did.

Do you understand?

I don't--

I don't have a van withlollipops on the side

and drive aroundlooking for children.

Hi, [fart noise]and then drive away.

One day, I had very badgas, like, you know,

chunky dudes do.

And I was on another dietwhere they ship you the food.

And that food is not real food.

It's just proteinand alcohol sugar.

And it makes yourstomach just full of gas,

and the farts that comeout are just atrocious.

They're just--

And I was walking around.

I was letting farts out.

I thought it was fun.

And then it got to thepoint, where I was like,

oh, I don't know whatthis next one is.

I'm in trouble.

I don't--

I might shit my pantsas an adult again.

I don't-- You know,I had-- I stopped.