Anthony Jeselnik - Foot Fetish

Anthony Jeselnik: Caligula Season 1, Ep 1 01/13/2013 Views: 43,824

No matter what the circumstance, Anthony Jeselnik will not put his mouth on anyone's foot. (2:22)

Watch Full Episode

One thing I've never understood

is, like, the foot fetish.

Like, are you guys togetherright here?

Yeah?How long you guys been together?

-WOMAN: Five years.-Five years. Wow.

Do you eversuck on her feet?

No? Would you if you hada different girlfriend?

[ Laughter ]

Or are you, like,across-the-board no feet?

-I don't really mind it.-You don't really mind it?

You just don't do it to herbecause you have mistresses.

I get it.

'Cause I'm across-the-boardno feet.

I once went on a date witha girl where we went hiking.

Her idea.

And while we're hiking,she gets bit by a snake

in between two toes,

and I hadto suck out the poison.

So she's dead.

-What's your name?-Bridget.

-Where are you from, Bridget?-The suburbs.

-The suburbs?-Yes, that's right.

That sure narrows it down.

[ Laughter ]

What, uh -- What do you do?

I'm a full-time student.

You're a full-time student.Okay, what do you study?


-Where do you go to school?-Rockford College.

Rockford College?

So you're not gonna bea good psychologist.

Have you ever beenon a blind date before?

-You ever do that?-No.

No?You're lucky.

I went on a blind date once,

just once,and I will never do it again.

It was the biggest disasterof all time.

She ended upbeing a burn victim...

[ Laughter ] the end of the night.

I mean,it was, like, the worst...

-[ Laughter ]-It was brutal.