Now, um, as I said,
uh, tomorrow night's our lastshow, and in the past few days,
we've tried to coverour favorite topics:
politics, race, Tampon Tuesdays.
Uh, but something dear to myheart that I want to make sure
I get to before we'reoff the air is not forgetting
(cheering and applause)
That's right, mother(bleep)!I haven't forgotten about you!
Another legal setbackfor Bill Cosby's defense team.
A federal appeals courthas rejected their attempt
to reseal testimonythat Cosby gave back in 2005
about havingextramarital affairs
and getting Quaaludesto give to women.
That's right. Your testimonyon giving Quaaludes to women
for the purposes of having sexwith them is out there for good.
You can't just take stuff backonce it's out.
I learned that the hard waywhen I told Comedy Central,
"Fine, go ahead and cancel me."
People listenwhen you say (bleep).
It's a joke.I didn't say that, you guys.
It's a joke. They're like,"What the (bleep)?
That was Larry's fault, man!"No, I didn't say that.
I didn't say that.Another mother(bleep)
who will not escape my memoryis, uh, ousted Fox News CEO
and handsy sex ogre Roger Ailes.
REPORTER: Roger Ailes will begin advising Donald Trump,
helping him prep for those crucial presidential debates.
That's right.The man just doubled down
on creepinessand mother(bleep)-iness.
I mean, why would Donald Trumphire Roger Ailes,
a bloated, egomaniacal,rich, hate-spewing,
blonde-stalking,misogynistic husk of a human...
Wait, who was I talkingabout again? Trump or...
Hmm. I got...
I can't remember!I can't remember!
But, come on,this is terrible for Trump,
whose numbers with womenwere already awful
before he hiredthis gropey harass-hole.
But, all right... but these arejust unconfirmed reports
about Ailes working for him.I'm sure Trump advisor
Jack Kingston is going to denythis association, right?
Brianna, I don't thinkany campaign is going
to tell everything to everybody.
And they're under no obligationto say
who's goingto be speech coaches,
who's goingto be in the back room.
All you needed to say was,
"Roger Ailes isn't advising us."
It's an easy answer,and you blew it.
It would be like someone asking,"Why is the sky blue?,"
and you answering,
"Well, you know,Hitler had some good ideas."
That's not a good answer!
Why... why are youbringing him up?
Now, look, I want to be clearabout something.
Sexual assault isn't justa Hollywood problem
or a cable news problem.
It happens on college campuses,
on dates, at the office,everywhere.
Well, with the possibleexception of Mars.
Uh, there you go.
The Curiosity Roveris totally woke on consent.
(applause and cheering)
Look, there's a reason Cosbyand Ailes
and other serial harassershave so many victims.
Because, for years,we let them get away with it.
Because when we tell victims
that their assaultsdidn't happen,
we also tell assailantsthat they don't need permission.
And when we protect powerfulmen, we make women invisible.
(cheers and applause)
I know...I know I'm a man saying this,
but, men,we need to do the work, too,
because I already have way toomany mother(bleep) to remember.
I don't need any more.
-We'll be right back.-(cheers and applause)