Jordan Rubin - Discount Flights

  • Season 12 , Ep 8
  • 01/31/2008
  • Views: 2,985

Finally, a great website for buying discount airline tickets you'll never receive. (2:26)

[CATCALL WHISTLES]

ALL RIGHT, ALRIGHTY.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON NEW YORK?

- [CHEERS AND WHISTLES]- YEAH!

THIS IS MY HOMETOWN.MY UNCLE'S ACTUALLY FROMBROOKLYN, NEW YORK.

HE HAS A THICK NEW YORK ACCENT.

LIKE INSTEAD OF SAYING,"WHAT TIME IS IT?" HE'LL SAY,

LIKE, "GET OUT OF HERE,I'M DRUNK." LIKE THAT'S--

THAT'S A REALLYTHICK ACCENT THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

I FLEW HERE YESTERDAY.I'M AFRAID TO FLY.

I LOVE WHEN YOU GET ON PLANESAND THEY'RE LIKE,

"IN THE EVENTOF A CRASH LANDING,

YOUR SEAT CUSHION DOUBLESAS A FLOTATION DEVICE."

IF WE'RE CRASHING,MY SEAT CUSHION IS GONNA DOUBLE

- AS A TOILET.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH. NO FLOTATIONGOIN' ON DOWN THERE.

SOME OF THE MY FRIENDSFLY THOSE PRICELINE FLIGHTS.

UGH, I DON'T GET ON THOSE.IT'S LIKE CHICKENS ON BOARD.

PRICELINE, IF YOU DON'T KNOW,IT'S THIS WEBSITE YOU GO ON,

YOU NAME THE PRICE YOU PAY,

AND THEN YOU JUSTDON'T GET A TICKET.

- IT'S GREAT.- [LAUGHTER]

NONE OF THE HASSLESOF FLYING, YOU KNOW?

YOU JUST HEAD HOME WITHYOUR BAGS LIKE, "WHAT?" WHAT?"

I'M GONNA TAKE A CRUISE.THAT'LL BE SAFER THAN FLYING.

SO I CALL THISCRUISE LINE PLACE.AND I WAS LIKE,

"HI, I WANT TO TAKEA CRUISE FOR ABOUT A WEEK.

CAN YOU TELL MEHOW MUCH THAT'D COST?"

THEY'RE LIKE"DO YOU WANT MEALS INCLUDED?"

NO, WE'RE GONNA BE DOINGHUNTING ON DECK ACTUALLY.

PREPARE THE HARPOONS.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE GETSTUPID LIKE THAT ON THE PHONE.

LIKE ONE TIME, I CALLEDMY FRIEND JIM AT THE OFFICE.

HE WASN'T THERE. SO SOMEBODYI DIDN'T KNOW ANSWERED.

I GO, "HI, IS JIM THERE?"THE GUY IS LIKE, "JIM?

NO, THERE'S A JOE."YEAH, GREAT PUT HIM ON.

AS LONG AS THERE'SA "J" AND THREE LETTERS,

I'LL HANG OUT WITH HIM'CAUSE I'M LONELY.

ONE TIME I CALLED UPDIRECTORY ASSISTANCE.

"HI, DO YOU HAVE THE NUMBEROF A SAM BECK ON FIFTH STREET?"

SHE GOES, "CHECKING. AH, WE HAVEA RACHEL ANDERS ON THIRD."

- YEAH, THAT'S PROBABLY HIM.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

UNBELIEVABLE!

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