Nick Kroll - Shopping at the Airport

Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool Season 1, Ep 101 01/29/2011 Views: 14,024

Nick Kroll doesn't understand who is buying porno magazines at the airport. (2:29)

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I LOVE COMEDYMORE THAN ANYTHING

AND I'M LUCKYTHAT I GET TO DO IT,

BECAUSE I'M REALLY NOT CAPABLEOF DOING ANYTHING ELSE.

LIKE, I--I REMEMBERI USED TO GO ON JOB INTERVIEWS,

AND I WOULD GET SO PANICKY,

AND THEY'D THROWSO MANY CURVEBALLS AT YOU.

LIKE I REMEMBER THIS ONEINTERVIEW, THE GUY WAS LIKE,

"SO, NICK, WHAT'SYOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS?"

AND I WAS BEING INTERVIEWEDBY TIM GUNN FROM PROJECT RUNWAY.

I JUST PANICKED.I WAS JUST LIKE,

"UMMM!

I GUESS MY GREATEST WEAKNESSIS THAT I HAVE NO STRENGTHS."

[panting, sighs]

BUT I DO BELIEVEYOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS,

AND, UH, THAT'S WHY

I ACTUALLY KEEPA DREAMCATCHER ABOVE MY BED.

BUT THEN, LIKE,JUST TO BE FAIR,

I KEEP A PICTURE OF MY DADNEXT TO IT,

SO THAT I CAN HAVEA DREAMCRUSHER THERE AS WELL.

DOING COMEDY, I, UH...

I TRAVEL A LOT.

I'M IN AIRPORTSCONSTANTLY.

WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTANDGOING TO THE AIRPORT

IS I'VE SEEN, LIKE,A CRAZY GROWTH

IN THE AMOUNT OF SHOPPINGTHAT HAPPENS AT AIRPORTS,

OR THE AMOUNT OF STORESTHAT ARE IN AIRPORTS.

LIKE, WHO'S MAKINGBIG-TICKET PURCHASES

AT THE AIRPORTS?

LIKE, WHO SPECIFICALLY

IS BUYING A SUITCASEAT THE AIRPORT?

'CAUSE THEY'RE SELLINGA CRAP-TON OF THEM THERE.

LIKE, WHO'S ROLLING UPTO THE AIRPORT LIKE,

"WHAT DID I FORGET?

"UH, DROPPED A SOCK.HOLD ON A SECOND.

"GOT MY CELL PHONE CHARGER.

"WHAT DID--OH, DROPPEDTHAT SAME SOCK AGAIN.

"ALL RIGHT, THERE WE GO.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT!A SUITCASE!"

[panting]

BUT ALL OF THATI CAN UNDERSTAND.

I DON'T UNDERSTANDIF YOU GO TO THE MAGAZINE SHOP

AT THE AIRPORT,YOUR HUDSON NEWS,

WHO IS BUYING PORNO MAGAZINESAT THE AIRPORT?

'CAUSE THEY'RESELLING THEM THERE

IN A SECTION CALLED"MEN'S INTERESTS."

WHO'S ROLLING UPAND IT'S LIKE,

"ALL RIGHT,LET'S SEE, UM..."

[pops lips]

"LET ME GETA BAG OF TRAIL MIX

"THAT I'LL EATONE HANDFUL OF

"AND THEN KEEP IN MY BACKPACKFOR SIX WEEKS.

"HMM, BLACK POLES, WHITE HOLES LOOKS LIKE A GOOD MAGAZINE.

"AND A $23 BOTTLEOF DASANI WATER,