2016: The Year of No Chill - We Don't F**king Know

Monday, June 27, 2016 06/27/2016 Views: 311

From the presidential race to potential super tsunamis, Chris admits that nothing is certain -- except for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's strange browser history. (2:42)

We're almosthalfway through 2016,

or "the year of no chill"as I've been calling it.

There are already so manyhigh-level things going on

that seem like maybethey'll be a global catastrophe,

or maybe things will go okay.

We don't know.

We don't (bleep) know.


Uh, let's see.There's a presidential election.

Could spell the endof America as we know it,

or maybe it'll be fine.

We don't (bleep) know.

Is the environmentgonna be okay,

or will we all drownin a super tsunami?

We don't (bleep) know.

Will the recent British voteto leave the European Union

turn the UKinto an Orwellian nightmare?

-We don't (bleep) know!-(laughter)

Maybe it'll be okay, maybe not.

Will the Rio Olympics bea triumph of the human spirit,

or a giant human (bleep)?We don't (bleep) know!

Anything right now!

Yeah, well, maybeit could be okay.

You know,with all this uncertainty,

it seems like the only rockwe have these days is The Rock,

-Dwayne Johnson.-(cheers and applause)

He is our lifeboat!

Everything...everything's gonna be okay

when The Rock's around.

Girls want to date him,

guys want to be him and alsowant to date him. Last...

-(laughter and groaning)-...Thursday,

he released a trailer announcinghis new YouTube channel.

What a great time to get inon this YouTube craze-- 2016.

-(laughter)-I always...

I always like to wait tillyear 11 to get in on stuff.

This is how muchI love The Rock.

I just moved him intomy top eight on Myspace.

That's how much I love The Rock.

-(applause and cheering)-Yeah.

Let's take a...let's take a look

and feel how everything's okay.

MALE ANNOUNCER: Once a generation

there comes an event so epic

that it dominates our culture.


I should starta YouTube channel.

Yeah, but first,Rock's got to clear his, um...

-his browsing history.-(laughter)

All right. Yeah. Fine, fine.

-(applause and cheering)-Clear it.

That's how (bleep) coolThe Rock is.

He can make you excitedabout a YouTube channel in 2016,

not to mention,he even tossed us

a perfect joke set up alley-oop.

So, Comedians,this is an interesting question.

What embarrassing itemsmight you find

in The Rock's browser history?

Mike Phirman, go.

He googled "Am I Vin Diesel?"

(laughter,applause and cheering))

-Robin Thede.-Can you still

get pubic liceif you're totally shaved?

HARDWICK:All right.

(laughter and groaning)

-Greg Proops. -Can you diagnosewhat The Rock is growing?