Brian Regan - Get Your Eyes Checked

  • Season 3 , Ep 14
  • 09/07/2000
  • Views: 43,304

Eye examinations are very intimidating (2:29)

I JUST HAD MY PRESCRIPTIONCHANGED AFTER SIX YEARS.

YOU EVER WAIT THAT LONG?

AND THEN YOU'RE LIKE,"MAN, I CAN SEE."

HOW CANINSTANTLY IMPROVED VISION

NOT BE AT THE TOPOF YOUR TO-DO LIST?

"I'LL SEE TOMORROW.

I GOT A SOCK DRAWERI GOTTA SORT OUT."

SO I GO IN FOR THE EYE TEST.

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT I CONCENTRATE LIKE CRAZYDURING THE EYE EXAM, YOU KNOW.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GET NO "D"ON THAT THING.

END UP WITH THESE BIG THICKCOKE-BOTTLE GLASSES.

"I DIDN'T TAKE IT SERIOUS."

[laughter]

ARE YOU STILL IN HERE?

[laughter]

SO I GO INFOR THE BIG EYE EXAM,

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT I, YOU KNOW--I'M SITTING IN THAT CHAIR,

AND THEY SLIDETHAT BIG GIANT THING ON MY FACE.

ARE THESE MY GLASSES?

BE A HELL OF A PAIR OF GLASSES.

DO I LIKE IT BETTER LIKE THISOR LIKE THIS?

I LIKE THIS ONEOR THIS ONE?

I LIKE THIS ONE,

BUT I HAVE TO SEETHIS ONE AGAIN.

THIS ONE--WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT--

WHAT'S GOING ONWITH THAT TEST?

I DRIVE MY EYE DOCTOR NUTSWITH IT, 'CAUSE I CAN'T COMMIT.

I CAN FEEL HIMLOSING HIS PATIENCE.

HE'S LIKE, "DO YOU LIKENUMBER ONE OR NUMBER TWO?"

[laughter]

"OH, I DON'T KNOW.LET'S SEE.

"WE HAD NUMBER ONEAND NUMBER TWO.

I THINK WE'RE GONNABE HERE AWHILE."

I'M SURPRISED HE DOESN'TCOVER ONE WITH BLACK TAPE.

"IS THE OTHER ONE CLEAR NOW?GET OUT OF HERE."

THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSUREIN THE EYE TEST.

THEY DO ONE TEST ALL THE TIME.

I DON'T KNOWWHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

ALL I KNOWIS I GET AN ANXIETY ATTACK

IN THE MIDDLEOF THE DAMN THING.

TELL ME THE EXACT MOMENTPOINT "A"

IS DIRECTLY OVER POINT B.

I'M LIKE, "OHHH...

[laughter]

"NOW!

"NO, NOW!

"NOW!

THEN!"

I DON'T KNOW.I DON'T KNOW.

I'M WORRIED IF I'M OFFBY AN EIGHTH OF A SECOND,

I'LL GET, LIKE,THESE BIG GIANT HUBBELL

COMING-ATTRACTION GLASSES.

"BOY, YOU MUST HAVE MESSED UPTHAT A/B TEST."

"DID I EVER.

HENCE THE CORRECTIVESPECTACLES."

WHAT ARE THEY IMPROVING?

MY ABILITY TO WATCH CARS PASSON THE HIGHWAY?

"THEY PASS NOW!AND THEY PASS NOW!"

"MAN, YOU'RE NAILIN' ITON THE NOGGIN."

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