Drew Fraser - Underwear

  • Season 9 , Ep 9
  • 03/31/2005
  • Views: 4,909

Wearing clean underwear in case of an accident is not going to work. (2:17)

Drew Fraser: YEAH.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH.

I GOT FRIENDS HERE, I GOT FAMILY

HERE.

MY PARENTS ARE HERE.

LOVE THEM TO DEATH.

YEAH.

MY PARENTS HAVE BEEN TOGETHER

FOR LIKE, OVER 40 YEARS, Y'ALL,

AIN'T THAT SOMETHING?

THAT'S A LONG TIME.

YEAH.

[APPLAUSE]

YEAH.

THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED

NEXT MONTH, SO WE'RE LOOKING

FORWARD TO THAT.

IT'S GONNA BE A BEAUTIFUL

WEDDING.

[LAUGHTER]

SOME OF Y'ALL ARE LAUGHING.

THE REST OF ALL ARE LIKE, "YEAH,

OKAY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

THAT'S, AH, THAT'S HOW

MY PARENTS DID IT, YEAH."

I HAD THE TYPE OF PARENTS

THAT ALWAYS LIVED BY PROVERBS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,

PROVERBS?

"A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE.

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

MAKE YOUR BED, YOU LIE IN IT."

I THINK THAT'S ONE, I THINK

EVERYBODY HERE CAN RELATE TO.

MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME, "ALWAYS

HAVE ON CLEAN UNDERWEAR IN CASE

YOU GET INTO AN ACCIDENT."

WHICH TO ME, IS REALLY STUPID

ADVICE 'CAUSE IF YOU'RE

GETTING READY TO GET HIT

BY A BUS, THE LAST THING YOU'RE

GONNA HAVE IS CLEAN UNDERWEAR

'CAUSE FIRST YOU SAY IT,

THEN YOU DO IT.

"OH, [BLEEP]."

[LAUGHTER]

PST!

CLEAN UNDERWEAR THAT WENT

RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.

NOW, YOU'RE LAYING AT THE SCENE

OF THE ACCIDENT SAYING

TO YOURSELF, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE

SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME.

'CAUSE I GOT ABOUT FIVE POUNDS

OF DOO DOO IN MY DRAWERS

RIGHT NOW."

[LAUGHTER]

THE ONLY TIME YOU WANNA MAKE

SURE YOU HAVE ON CLEAN UNDERWEAR

IS WHEN SEX COMES IN TO PLAY.

'CAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS,

SOMETIMES SEX IS A SPONTANEOUS

ACT.

AND SOMETIMES IT'S A PLANNED

ACT.

NOW FELLAS, YOU CAN ALWAYS

TELL WHEN IT'S A PLANNED ACT

ON THE FEMALE'S PART, 'CAUSE

THAT'S WHEN THE BRA AND

THE PANTIES ARE A MATCHING SET.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU.

IF SHE GOT ON THE BLACK BRA

AND BLACK PANTIES, SHE PLANNED

TO GIVE YOU SOME [BLEEP] THAT

NIGHT.

SO FELLAS, DO NOT FALL FOR THAT

UNIVERSAL LINE WOMEN SAY ACROSS

THE COUNTRY WHENEVER THEY GET

READY TO SLEEP WITH A MAN

FOR THE FIRST TIME, "OH, MY GOD,

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS

HAPPENING."

[LAUGHTER]

"I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS GONNA

HAPPEN.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I USUALLY

DON'T DO THIS."

AND SHE TAKE HER CLOTHES OFF AND

SHE GOT A $800 VICTORIA'S SECRET

SET UNDERNEATH, OKAY.

SHE KNEW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

WHEN SHE CAME OVER THERE.

NOW, SHE TAKE HER CLOTHES OFF

AND SHE GOT A GREEN BRA WITH A

SAFETY PIN ATTACHED TO IT,

WELL...

[LAUGHTER]

IT WAS PRETTY MUCH UNEXPECTED.

ANOTHER THING MY PARENTS,

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