Oh, my goodness.
This dude Brian NicholeraI went to high school with
just friended me,he just moved here.Oh, my God.
People from high schoolonly friend you, like,
after business hoursif they wanna hook up.
Really? I had a hugecrush on him.
Oh, you shouldask him out.I can't just do that.
Oh, my God,he "likes" "Roseanne."
Okay, this is--
This is your newsexual partner.
All right,I'm asking him out.
I'm just gonna do it.Do it.
This is so great.
Like, why are we waiting forguys to come to us, Ilana?
Did Amelia Earhartwait to be
asked to flyaround the world?
And then theysaid no.
But she still did it.
And she died, but she,like, died doing it.
I'm doing it again,I'm asking someone else out.
This is the Abbi I loveand fell in love with
and I'm obsessed with.
I used to babysitfor him.
He was adorable.
Yeah, he's 20,that's acceptable.
He spent a hot sec in jail,but he lives in South Jersey
and I know he'd steal a carand come up for the night.
Chris Wazcyleski,he was a nude model
in my life drawingclass and he, like,
always angledhimself out to me.
Chad Michael Fong.
We met at a hardware store,he was disgusting.
You know, I'm picking allwhite dudes right now.
I must be cravingpink dick.
I'm gonnago with this.
(Abbi)Okay, who else,who else?
Henry Rowdenbush, had a unibrowall through middle school
and then he started waxing itand all of a sudden it was like,
glasses off, you're(bleep) gorgeous.
It's like"She's All That."
I feel like I'm oncoke right now.
Johnny Fissinger.Danny McCarrow.
We are, like, feministheroes right now.
So, okay,that's 36 guys
that we've been rejectedby and one lady.
Okay, so what, dude?You know what?
The Internetis so '90s.
Let's go findsome guys IRL.
You know, you can justsay "in real life."
It's the same numberof syllables.