Mario Cantone - Court TV

CC Presents: Mario Cantone Season 2, Ep 9 07/16/1999 Views: 5,071

The Menendez brothers' trial was Mario's favorite. (2:43)

AND I LOVE BILL CLINTON

BUT I THINK WE'RE GOINGTO SEE HIM ON COURT TV SOMEDAY

WITH THE MENENDEZ BROTHERS.

THE MENENDEZ BROTHERS!

THAT WAS MY FAVORITE...

OH! DID ANYBODY WATCH THAT?

DID YOU WATCH IT?

IT WAS...WHO WATCHED IT UP HERE?

IT WAS THE MOST THRILLING...

I COULDN'T GET OUT OF BEDFOR SIX MONTHS.

I WAS IN BED, I HAD, LIKE,SANDWICH CRUSTS...

MY AGENT WAS, LIKE, "RING.YOU HAVE AN AUDITION TODAY."

"I CAN'T LEAVE.LYLE'S ON THE STAND.

I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED."

I COULDN'T GET OUT OF BED.

I WAS, LIKE,FREAKED WITH THIS THING.

AND, LIKE, FIRST OF ALL,IF YOU WATCHED IT

EVERYBODY KNOWSTHEY KILLED THEIR PARENTS.

BLAH-BLAH-BLAH,THEY KILLED THEIR PARENTS, OKAY.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I WATCHED THAT CAREFULLY.

SOMETHING HAPPENEDIN THAT HOUSE.

I BELIEVE THE ABUSE,ESPECIALLY WITH ERIC.

SOMETHING HAPPENED,BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU DON'T KILL YOUR MOTHERAND FATHER ON A COUCH IN RAGE

BLOOD ALL OVER THE CEIL...

"THEY WANTED THE MONEY."

THEY HAD THE MONEY.

THEY HAD CARS,THEY HAD UNLIMITED FUNDS...

YOU DON'T BLOW THEM AWAYIN THE LIVING ROOM.

YOU TAKE THEM INTO THE BACK,BURY THEM...

"WHERE'S YOUR PARENTS?"

"I DON'T KNOW.THEY WENT TO MIAMI."

AND I LOOK AT IT THIS WAY:

IF YOUR FATHER IS PLOWING YOUTILL YOU ARE 18

THINK ABOUT THIS:DO YOU WANT HIM DEAD OR ALIVE?

NOW, THINK ABOUT THISIN A SICILIAN WAY.

KILL YOUR ABUSER.

OH, MY GOD.

AND, YOU KNOW,I'M SO OBSESSED WITH IT.

AND I DIDN'T COME FROM, LIKE,ANY PHYSICAL ABUSE

OR SEXUAL ABUSE, THANK GOD

'CAUSE I KNOWA LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE

BUT I HAD THE VERBAL ABUSE.

"WHAT'S THE MATTER,YOU STUPID MORON?

"PUT THE CAP ON THE TOOTHPASTEAND GET THAT SMILE OFF YOUR...

YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"

I GOT THAT. I GOT THAT

WHICH IS WHY I DO THIS.

OKAY.

THE FIRST TIMEI EVER SAW COURT TV

THE THINGTHAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION

WAS THE BRANDO THING.

THE BRANDO TRIAL, WHEN HEKILLED, YOU KNOW, THE DAUGHTER.

THE BOYFRIEND WAS KILLEDBY THE SON, CHEYENNE.

NO, CHEYENNE WAS THE DAUGHTER

DAG WAS THE BOYFRIENDOF CHEYENNE

AND THEN CHRISTIAN KILLED HIM.

AH! IT WAS AWESOME.

THERE HE WAS, BRANDO,ON THE STAND.

HIS STOMACH WAS HANGING

OVER THE WITNESS STANDINTO THE JURY BOX.

THEY WERE, LIKE,"MR. BRANDO, I'M SORRY

"WE HAVE TO MOVE YOU.

YOU'RE INFLUENCING THE JURY."

BUT HE WAS, LIKE, HUMPTY BRANDO.

HE WAS JUST LIKE...

( imitating Brando ):"THIS TRAGEDY...

"THAT'S HAPPENED TO MEIN THIS LIFETIME IS INSANE

"'CAUSE MY SON IS A GOOD KID.

"IT'S MY FAULT. IT REALLY IS.

"BAD, BAD FATHER.

"PUT ME AWAY, 'CAUSE...

COULD I GET A RING-DING,PLEASE?"