Al Madrigal - French/Mexican

  • Season 9, Ep 21
  • 06/30/2005
  • Views: 11,770

Being half-Mexican and going to a French school can be tough. (2:52)

SAN FRANCISCO?

IT'S NOT EASY.

'CAUSE I FIGURE WHAT HAPPENS

MY DAD 100 PERCENT MEXICAN MAN

GROWING UP IN THE EARLY '60s

WHEN IT'S NOT SO COOL TO BE

MEXICAN LIKE IT IS NOW, RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

RIGHT?

NO.

OKAY.

ANYWAY, SO BACK IN 1975 IT'S

LIKE, "WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE MY

LITTLE HALF-MEXICAN AS WHITE AS

HE CAN BE?

I KNOW.

WE'LL SEND HIM TO FRENCH

SCHOOL."

SO I WENT TO FRENCH SCHOOL IN

SAN FRANCISCO AND NOT JUST ANY

FRENCH SCHOOL.

ONE WHERE YOU HAD TO WEAR A

1920s REPLICA FRENCH SAILOR

SUIT TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY.

SORT OF LIKE THE CRACKER JACK

GUY, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH.

LAUGH IT UP.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I GUESS MY POINT IS YOU GREW UP

REAL QUICK A HALF-MEXICAN IN A

SAILOR SUIT.

BECAUSE I'D BE RIDING THE

STREETCAR TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY

MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS,

HUMMING OUT A FRAIRA JACQUES.

[LAUGHTER]

I REALIZED IN ANY OTHER TOWN

THIS MIGHT BE CONSIDERED CUTE.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS IN

SAN FRANCISCO?

SEXY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S TRUE.

I WAS HOT.

BIG HAIR, FULL LIPS, HOLDING

ONTO A POLE.

RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

GO OVER A HILL OR A BUMP I'M

GIVING SOME GUY A LAP DANCE

ALL OF A SUDDEN.

PARANOID TO THE POINT WHERE A

FRENCH TOURIST WANTS TO COME UP

AND TALK TO ME ON THE CABLE CAR.

HE'S LIKE, "OH, LOOK.

A LITTLE DARK COMPLECTED FRENCH

BOY IN A SAILOR SUIT OUTFIT.

" ETU PARLAIS FRANCE?"

" UN PEQUITO UH-AH.

YOU GOT TO HELP ME."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ALL RIGHT.

SO NOW THAT THE FRENCH SECRET

IS OUT I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA

GET INVITED TO ANY MORE

LOCO COMEDY JAMS, RIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.

CINCO DE MAYO ROLLS AROUND,

RIGHT?

NOW YOU GET THIS PHONE CALL

"HEY, WE NEED YOU FOR A BIG

LOCO COMEDY JAM.

CAN YOU COME DOWN TO SAN JOSE,

RIGHT, WE'LL PAY YOU LOTS OF

MONEY."

SO INITIALLY I WAS LIKE, "YEAH,

I'LL DO IT.

I'LL GO TO YOUR LOCO COMEDY

JAM."

RIGHT?

AND YOU HEAR MY NAME ON THE

RADIO.

THEY'RE ANNOUNCING IT ON THE

SPANISH NETWORK AND ON THE

OLDIES STATION.

WE HAVE A BIG LATINO COMEDY JAM

AND AL MADRIGAL WILL BE THERE,

RIGHT.

AND I'M DRIVING AROUND GOING,

"WOW, SO THAT'S HOW YOU SAY IT.

WOW, THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S REALLY COOL."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEN I GET THERE AND I SWEAR

IN SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA THERE'S

2,000 MEXICANS.

AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE A

HALF-MEXICAN WHEN YOU WALK IN

AND YOU'RE LIKE, "DAMN, THIS IS

A LOTTA MEXICANS."

THAT'S CRAZY.

THIS IS ONLY HALF OF ME.

HE'S THE ONLY WHITE GUY HERE.

THAT'S AMAZING.

[LAUGHTER]

DURING MY ACT I KNEW IT WAS MY

LAST ONE 'CAUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF

MY ACT I'M DOING THE PEQUITO

JOKES, RIGHT, AND THIS GUY

STANDS UP IN THE MIDDLE RIGHT

WHERE YOU ARE BUDDY, RIGHT OVER

THERE IN THE MIDDLE AND HE GOES,

"HE DOESN'T SPEAK SPANISH!"

"AGH-GH-GH-GH!"

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN SLOW-MO STUFF, RIGHT?

LAST JAM FOR ME.

THAT WAS THE LAST JAM FOR ME.

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