Gabriel Iglesias - Hookers

Season 1 , Ep 0101 Views: 255,626

You never forget the first time you have to explain to your kid what a hooker is. Thanks, HBO. (1:56)

HE GOT EVENWITH ME, THOUGH.

HE TOTALLY GOTEVEN WITH ME.

I WALKED IN THE KITCHEN ONEMORNING.

HE'S SITTING THERE, AND HE LOOKSAT ME, AND HE GOES, "GABRIEL,

I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.

WHAT'S A HOOKER?""WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"WHAT'S A HOOKER?""WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?"

"I WAS WATCHING HBO, AND THEREWAS A COMMERCIAL FOR A SHOW

CALLED HOOKERS AT THE POINT.

IT SAID, "THIS SATURDAY AT 11:30CHECK OUT ALL THE HOOKERS.

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?""THAT MEANS WE'RE GOING OUT

SATURDAY."

"WHAT'S A HOOKER?""LET IT GO, DUDE."

"TELL ME."

"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW."

"TELL ME."

"FRANKIE, THAT'S FOR ADULTS."

"YOU SAID I WAS AN ADULT."

"I SAID YOU EAT LIKE AN ADULT.

[laughter]AND WHAT YOU DO IN THE BATHROOM,

YOU ARE GROWN UP; TRUST ME.

BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOWWHAT A HOOKER IS."

HE THROWS A FIT IN THE KITCHEN.

"HOOKER, HOOKER, HOOKER,HOOKER."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?""HOOKER."

HE WON'T STOP.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SO I SNAPPED.

"QUIT IT!"AND HE STOPPED.

AND APPARENTLY, HIS MOM HEARDTHAT.

MM-HMM, AND AS SOON AS I YELLED,OH, MY GOD, HE WENT FROM BEING

MY SON TO MY GIRLFRIEND'S LITTLECUB ONCE AGAIN.

AND HERE SHE COMES FROM THEOTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE,

MAMA LION TO PROTECT HER LITTLE,YOU KNOW,

♪ HA ♪ YA HEY NAY

♪ BABA MEE BABA MA [roaring]

I COULD SEE HER COMING.

[screams][roaring]

"WHY ARE YOU YELLINGAT MY BABY?"

"OH, MY GOD.

HE WANTS TO KNOW WHATA HOOKER IS."

"AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE YELLING?"TEARS, RIGHT?

"YOU SAID IF HE HAD ANYQUESTIONS, HE COULD COME

TO YOU."

"I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GONNA ASKME THAT."

"YOU SAID, 'DON'T WORRY, BABY.

I'M THE MAN.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.'

TELL HIM."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?""TELL HIM NOW."

[sighs]"FRANKIE, YOU WANT TO KNOW

WHAT A HOOKER IS?""YEAH."

"THOSE ARE YOUR MOM'S FRIENDS."

[laughter]

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