JB Smoove - Bootleg Tickets to the Kircus

  • Season 1, Ep 6
  • 08/08/2010
  • Views: 12,407

JB Smoove goes to a neighborhood circus where people are dressed in animal costumes. (3:15)

DJ CASSIDY, Y'ALL.MY MAN.

NYC, BABY.

FEEL GOOD, THOUGH, MAN.FEEL GOOD, MAN,

BEING IN NYC, BABY.

- HELL, YEAH.

- THE SCAM CAPITOLOF THE WORLD, BABY.

THE SCAM CAPITOLOF THE WORLD.

YEAH, YOU GOING--

YOU GOING WITH SOME MONEYIN YOUR POCKET TO NEW YORK?

YOUR ASS WILL GET SCAMMED.

EVERY DAY, SOMEBODY GETS UPOUT OUT OF BED, MAN,

GETS OUT OF THATGOD DAMN BED, MAN,

TRYING TO FIGURE OUTHOW TO GET YOUR MONEY

OUT YOUR GOD DAMN POCKETS.

I'M FROM NEW YORK.I STILL GET SCARED!

I'M FROM NEW YORK, MAN.I STILL GET SCARED, MAN.

THIS DUDE WANTS TO SELL MESOME TICKETS TO THE CIRCUS.

OL' BOOTLEG-ASS TICKETS.

I WAS TRYING TO BEALL CAUTIOUS, MAN.

"ARE THESE TICKETS LEGIT?

"ARE THESE GOD DAMNTICKETS LEGIT?

'CAUSE THIS IS IN PENCIL."

"AND YOU SPELL CIRCUSWITH A GOD DAMN 'K.'

WHAT THE HELLIS A GOD DAMN KIRKUS?"

I GET TO THE GOD DAMNCIRCUS, MAN,

IT'S SOME OLDNEIGHBORHOOD CIRCUS.

NO DAMN ANIMALS.NO ONE GOD DAMN ANIMAL.

THEY HAVE PEOPLETHAT DRESSED UP AS ANIMALS.

"RAAHR!

"RAAHR!

RAHR! RAHR! RAHR!"

[imitating elephant trumpeting]

"RAHR!

RAHR! RAHR!"

I'M LIKE,"BOO, MOTHER [bleep]!

I SEE YOUR SNEAKERS!"

ONE DUDE WAS SMOKINGIN THE COSTUME.

HE INSIDE A COSTUMETAKING A SMOKE BREAK.

HE HAS SMOKECOMING OUT OF THE MOUTH.

I SAID, "IS THAT A TIGEROR A GOD DAMN DRAGON?"

ONE DUDE HAS HIS WATCHON THE OUTSIDE OF THE COSTUME.

"RAHR!"

"HEY, WHAT TIME IS IT?"

"AH, 12:45. RAHR!"

THIS ONE GUYCAME OUT OF NOWHERE.

HE TRYING TO SCARE PEOPLE.

HE DON'T KNOWWHO THE HELL HE IS.

"ARGH.

"RAHR! RAHR!

RAHR! RAHR!"

HIS ASS IN A GOD DAMNHORSE COSTUME.

HE GOT HOOVES."WAAH! RAHR!"

"HEY, DUMB ASS, LOOKWHAT THE HELL YOU GOT ON."

"RAHH! RAHH!

AW, HELL, NO."

ONE DUDEWAS ON HIS CELL PHONE

HAVING AN ARGUMENTWITH HIS GIRLFRIEND

INSIDE THE GOD DAMN COSTUME.

HIS ASS IN THE COSTUME,HAVIN' A FU...

"LOOK HERE.

"LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

"I AM NOT GONNABE AT MY JOB

"HAVING AN ARGUMENTWITH YOUR ASS.

"OKAY?I GOT KIDS HERE

"THAT NEEDTO BE ENTERTAINED,

"AND YOU ARE [bleep]WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

"HOLD ON, HOLD ON,HOLD ON, BITCH!

"RAHR!

"ARGGH.

"YOU GOD DAMN RIGHT.

"BECAUSE I GOT A GOD DAMN JOB,OKAY? OKAY?

"YOU IN THE MOTHER[bleep] MALL,

"WALKING AROUND,HAVING A GOOD TIME,

"AND MY ASS HEREENTERTAINING THE KIDS.

"HOLD YOUR ASS ON.HOLD ON THE [bleep] ON.

"RAHR!

"ARRGH.

"WHAT AM I DOING?

"WHAT YOU THINK I'M DOING?

I'M SCARING THE [bleep]OUT OF THESE KIDS!"

[cheers and applause]

WHOO!

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