Mark Confronts Jerry

  • Season 2 , Ep 213
  • 03/14/2012
  • Views: 2,810

Mark confronts Jerry about his love for Portia the stripper. (2:16)

MUST BE NICE TO SEE PORTIAAGAIN.

- HOW DO YOU KNOWHER STRIPPER NAME?

HAVE YOUR HANDSBEEN ON HER TITS?

I'LL KILL YOU!

- HOW I KNOW WHO SHE ISISN'T IMPORTANT.

WHAT IS IMPORTANTIS WHY YOU RISKED EVERYTHING

TO SEE HER AGAIN.

- HUH?

I FELL FOR HER BEFORE I MET HER.

SHE WROTE ME IN PRISON.

FILTHY, PERVERTED PROSE.

AS SOON AS I GOT OUT, I WENTSTRAIGHT TO THE BOOB FACTORY.

SHE ALMOST KILLEDME WITH THOSE LAP DANCES.

SHE LOVED BASEBALL,

SO WE WENT TO A YANKEE GAMEFOR OUR FIRST DATE.

WELL, ACTUALLY,I'M THE BASEBALL FAN.

SHE JUST WANTEDTO BANG DEREK JETER.

I WENT STRAIGHT FOR HER.

I ONLY ASKEDTHAT SHE STOP STRIPPING.

BUT THEN ONE NIGHT, SHE CAMEHOME IN THAT WHORE UNIFORM.

SHE SAID SHE'DBEEN OUT WITH THE GIRLS,

BUT I DUSTED HER ASSFOR FINGERPRINTS.

I STOPPED COUNTINGAFTER DISCOVERING

THE 20TH DIFFERENT SET.

I KNEW THENSHE'D NEVER GIVE UP THE POLE.

THAT WAS THE END OF GOOD JERRY.

WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT SHECHANGED FOR THAT LOSER TWAYNE,

IT DROVE ME CRAZY.

I MEAN, WHY NOT FOR ME?

- DID YOU EVER THINKMAYBE SHE HASN'T CHANGED?

- HUH?

SHE JUST RIPPED HIM OFF.

SHE'S PULLIN' A CON.

- SHE TAKES ADVANTAGEOF VULNERABLE MEN, JERRY.

SHE DID THE SAME TO YOU.

YOU'RE SO ANGRY AT THE WORLDBECAUSE OF YOUR SIZE.

BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLEOUT THERE WILLING TO EMBRACE

A HEIGHT-CHALLENGEDINSECT AMERICAN.

- YOU'RE RIGHT.

I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

AND I DESERVE BETTER THAN HER.

YOU DID IT, MR. LILLY.THANK YOU.

I'LL, OF COURSE,TURN MYSELF IN NOW.

AH-OW!

- GRIMES!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

- MAN, ANYONE WHO SAYS REVENGEIS AN EMPTY EXPERIENCE

DOESN'T KNOWWHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- BLAH!

- I FEEL GREAT.

- THANKS FOR CARING, MARK.

YOU'RE A GOOD COUNSELOR.

AND I'M DEAD.

- GUESS I WAS WRONG.

YOUR JOB ISN'TCOMPLETE BULL[bleep].

- THANKS, GRIMES.

NOW, IF YOU WOULD,

PLEASE HELP ME BURY HIMIN TWAYNE'S SINUS CAVITY.

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