Tig Notaro - Wheelchair Becky

CC Presents: Tig Notaro Season 8, Ep 21 05/13/2004 Views: 9,342

Barbie is a snob. (3:58)

Tig: I WAS TALKING TO THIS

FRIEND OF MINE THAT I GREW UP

WITH IN HOUSTON.

AND SHE TOLD ME SHE JUST GOT HER

DAUGHTER BARBIE'S FRIEND,

WHEELCHAIR BECKY.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S A REAL DOLL.

SHE GOT IT FOR HER BECAUSE SHE

WANTED TO SHOW HER THAT PEOPLE

IN WHEELCHAIRS ARE JUST LIKE

EVERYBODY ELSE.

AND IF THAT'S A LESSON TO BE

LEARNED, THEN WHY ISN'T THE DOLL

JUST CALLED "BECKY"?

[LAUGHTER]

WHEELCHAIR BECKY JUST SEEMS LIKE

GOOD OLD-FASHIONED

NAME-CALLING TO ME.

[LAUGHTER]

I THINK THAT MY FRIEND WOULD BE

QUITE DISAPPROVING IF HER

DAUGHTER LEARNED FROM THE

LESSON, AND CAME HOME ONE DAY

AND ASKED IF NECKBRACE NICKY

COULD COME OVER AND PLAY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S JUST SO HARD FOR ME TO

ACCEPT THE FACT THAT MATTEL

WOULD OKAY THE NAME OF THIS

PRODUCT TO HELP TEACH TOLERANCE

AND OPEN MINDS.

LIKE MAYBE SOME MORE DOLLS ARE

GONNA COME OUT.

LIKE "BLACK BYRON".

[LAUGHTER]

"CHINESE CHARLIE".

[LAUGHTER]

"FAGGIE FRANK".

[LAUGHTER]

"BIG OLD DYKIE DARLENE".

THESE ARE NOT BARBIE'S FRIENDS.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SHE WOULD NEVER HANG OUT WITH

THESE PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE'S A SNOB.

YOU THINK BARBIE IS GONNA SPEND

TIME WITH BYRON FOR KWANZAA?

[LAUGHTER]

OR, YOU THINK SHE'S GONNA TAKE

THE TIME TO STRAP BECKY'S

WHEELCHAIR TO THE BACK OF HER

PINK CORVETTE?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I DON'T THINK SO.

BECKY'S GONNA BE STRANDED ON

THE SIDEWALK.

WAITING FOR BIG OLD DYKIE

DARLENE TO SWING BY AND...

[LAUGHTER]

PICK HER ASS UP.

THAT'S A HOT LESBIAN COUPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

BIG BUTCHY WOMAN WHEELING

ANOTHER WOMAN AROUND.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, YEAH.

AFTER THIS ONE SHOW, THIS WOMAN

CAME UP TO ME AND SHE WAS LIKE--

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THE DOLL'S

NAME IS NOT "WHEELCHAIR BECKY".

THEY CHANGED IT TO "SHARE A

SMILE BECKY".

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WORSE.

THERE'S AN ENTIRE SENTENCE

PLACED BEFORE THE DOLL'S NAME.

[LAUGHTER]

TO HELP HER BLEND IN.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL HER,

'PLEASE, TREAT ME AS AN EQUAL,

BECKY'...

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

AND NO ONE WILL KNOW?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

WHEELCHAIR BECKY.

WHEELCHAIR NOT INCLUDED.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]