Matt Broussard - Old Coworkers & Older Parents

  • Season 1 , Ep 4
  • 11/14/2013
  • Views: 2,628

His coworkers try to set him up with women his own age while Matt Broussard’s parents show him their own unique way of interacting. (2:02)

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WE ALSO HAVE A LOTOF OLDER CLIENTS,

AND WHAT'S REALLY COOLABOUT THAT IS

I'M 25 AND I'M SINGLE,

SO THEY'RE ALWAYS TRYINGTO SET ME UP WITH GIRLS MY AGE,

WHICH I REALLY APPRECIATE,

BUT I NEVER KNOWWHAT THEY EXPECT OF IT.

THEY'RE ALWAYS LIKE, "MATTHEW,YOU NEED TO MEET MY NIECE.

"SHE'S CUTE, SHE'S SINGLE,

"BUT SHE'S ONLY IN TOWNTHIS WEEKEND.

WHY DON'T YOU SHOW HERA GOOD TIME?"

"ARE YOU ASKING METO BANG YOUR NIECE?

[laughter]

"'CAUSE I CAN DO THAT,YOU KNOW?

I CAN DO THAT."

CHILDBIRTH FREAKS ME OUT.

I WAS A--I WAS A 9-POUND,11-OUNCE BABY.

MOSTLY IN MY HEAD.I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT.

I WISH I COULD FINDA MOTHER'S DAY CARD

THAT SAYS,"SORRY I TOTALED YOUR VAGINA."

OR A FATHER'S DAY CARDTHAT SAYS,

"SORRY I TOTALEDYOUR VAGINA."

[cheers and applause]

MY PARENTS PUT OFF HAVING KIDSTILL LATER IN LIFE.

GROWING UP, I ALWAYSTHOUGHT THAT, LIKE,

WHEN OLD COUPLESPICK ON EACH OTHER,

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE,CUTE AND PLAYFUL.

BUT WHEN MY PARENTS DO IT,IT'S JUST KIND OF MEAN.

LIKE, MY DADHAS PARKINSON'S DISEASE,

AND ASIDE FROM THE TREMORS,SOME OTHER SIDE EFFECTS ARE THAT

HE'S VERY HUNCHED OVER,

AND HE ALSO DRIBBLES A LOT.

YOU KNOW, HE CAN'T CONTROLHIS SALIVARY GLANDS.

AND I COME HOME TO VISITMY PARENTS IN ATLANTA,

AND MY MOM'S JUST LIKE,"UGH, LOOK AT HIM.

LOOK AT HIS POSTUREAND THE WAY HE DROOLS."

I'M LIKE, "YEAH, MA,IT'S THE PARKINSON'S."

SHE'S LIKE,"I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK HE'S JUSTNOT TRYING."

[laughter]

MY DAD'S HAD PARKINSON'SSINCE I WAS 12.

HE'S HAD ITFOR MOST OF MY LIFE.

AND THAT'S THE THINGABOUT LIVING WITH SOMEONE

WITH A DISABILITY LIKE THAT,

IS THAT YOU TRY TO BEVERY UNDERSTANDING

AND CONSIDERATEOF THEIR LIMITATIONS,

BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUSTLOSE YOUR PATIENCE

AND END UP SNAPPINGAND LOOKING LIKE A TOTAL DICK.

LIKE, I'M JUST SITTING THEREON BOARD GAME NIGHT, LIKE,

"GOD, HE SUCKS AT PICTIONARY.[laughter]

"EARTHQUAKE? EARTHQUAKE?EARTHQUAKE?

IS IT AN EARTHQUAKE?"

EVERY TIME.

AND JENGA...

[laughter and groans]

[cheers and applause]

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