Henry Phillips - I Really Need to Get a Girlfriend

  • Season 9 , Ep 23
  • 07/14/2005
  • Views: 5,927

Henry is willing to pay some girl to say she is his girlfriend. (3:07)

Henry Phillips: I LIKE TO LOOK

AT IT LIKE I'VE GOT ONE FOOT

IN THE MUSIC DOOR AND ONE FOOT

IN THE COMEDY DOOR.

SO I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN

REALLY PICTURE THAT OR NOT.

I'M NOT REALLY GETTING ANYWHERE,

I'M JUST KIND OF HUMPING THE

WALL IN BETWEEN THE TWO WORLDS

BUT UH, I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME

DOING IT.

♪♪

THIS ONE'S A LITTLE BIT MORE

UP-TEMPO.

I'M TRYING TO WRITE A

DANCE SONG, SO IF YOU

FEEL LIKE DANCING PLEASE DON'T

THAT WOULD BE REALLY

UNCOMFORTABLE FOR EVERYBODY.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S CALLED "I REALLY, REALLY

NEED TO GET A GIRLFRIEND."

♪ I GOTTA GET A GIRLFRIEND

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ I GOTTA GET A GIRLFRIEND

IS IT GETTING CATCHY YET?

I'M TRYING TO SELL THIS TO

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, WHATEVER BUT

I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING BACK.

♪ I GOTTA GET NEW CLOTHES

♪ SO I CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND

♪ I GOTTA START CLIPPING

♪ MY TOES

♪ SO I CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND

♪ STOP PICKING MY NOSE

♪ SO I CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND

♪ STOP WEARING PANTYHOSE

♪ SO I CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

♪ I'M EVEN WILLING TO PAY

♪ SOME GIRL TO SAY THAT

♪ SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND

♪ 'CAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS THINK

♪ I'M GAY

♪ 'CAUSE I NEVER HAVE

♪ A GIRLFRIEND

♪ I'D BUY FLOWERS EVERYDAY

♪ FOR MY GIRLFRIEND

♪ I WOULDN'T BE LIKE OJ

♪ AND KILL MY GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

ALL RIGHT, THE CLAPPING'S

MESSING ME UP NOW SO WE GOT

TO STOP IT.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS JUST FOR THE MUSICIANS

OUT THERE WATCH THIS.

♪ I JUST CHANGED THE KEY

♪ SO I CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND

♪ START HAVING SEX FOR FREE

♪ WITH MY GIRLFRIEND

♪ SHE CAN EVEN HAVE VD

♪ AND STILL BE MY GIRLFRIEND

♪ IT MIGHT BURN WHEN I PEE

♪ BUT AT LEAST I'D HAVE

♪ A GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

THIS WAS SORT OF A BRIDGE PART

RIGHT HERE, I DON'T KNOW HOW

FAMILIAR YOU ARE WITH THE SONG

WRITING LINGO BUT THIS IS THE

KIND OF PART THAT BREAKS IT UP

A LITTLE BIT SO ITS KIND OF

WORK IN PROGRESS.

♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

[SINGS IN HIGH PITCH VOICE]

♪ WE COULD SIT AROUND

♪ AND DO CRAZY [BLEEP]

♪ TOGETHER LIKE

♪ I COULD PULL HER EARS OUT

♪ AND SAY

♪ "HEY, LOOK EVERYBODY

♪ IT'S DUMBO" AND SHE'D BE

♪ ALL LIKE

♪ "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU

♪ AND HOW'D YOU

♪ GET INTO MY HOUSE?"

ALL RIGHT.

[SINGS IN NORMAL VOICE]

♪ HOW LOW DO I HAVE TO SINK

♪ TO GET ME A GIRLFRIEND?

♪ I COULD PUT SOMETHING

♪ IN HER DRINK

♪ AND SHE COULD BE

♪ MY GIRLFRIEND

♪ BUT THEN THEY'D PUT ME

♪ IN THE CLINK

♪ AND I'D BE SOMEONE ELSE'S

♪ GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND

♪ GIRLFRIEND ♪

THANK YOU.

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