Brian Scolaro - Process of Elimination

  • Season 13 , Ep 4
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 8,412

Oh, you ate a tree, how was that? Oh, you're dying. Okay...trees, no. (2:16)

LIKE, WE KNOW WHAT TO EAT.

A WAITER BRINGS YOU SOMETHINGAND SAYS, "YOU CAN EAT THAT."

HE DOESN'T SAY THAT, BUT, YOUKNOW, HE'S BRINGING IT TO YOU.

CAVEMEN HAD TO FIGURE OUTWHAT TO EAT.

I THINK THAT'S BRAVE.

CAVEMEN HADTHE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION.

LIKE, ONE CAVEMANATE A BUNCH OF ROCKS.

AND HE JUST [BLEEP] DIED.

ANOTHER GUY --"NOBODY EAT ANY MORE ROCKS.

"TELL YOUR FRIENDS.CROSS IT OFF THE LIST.

"ALL RIGHT,WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO EAT?

"OKAY, YOU ATE A TREE.ALL RIGHT, HOW WAS THAT?

"YOU'RE DYING? OKAY.

"TREES -- NO.

"JEFF, YOU HAD THE FIRE.HOW DID THAT GO?

HOLY [BLEEP]FIRE -- DEFINITELY NO."

"UH, JILL, YOU HAD THE TURKEY.THAT WAS GOOD? OKAY.

"JACK, YOU HAD THE CHICKEN.GOOD? ALL RIGHT.

"GEORGE, YOU HAD THE TIGER.

GEORGE?"

FIRST GUY TO EAT AN EGG --THAT GUY WAS GROSS.

WASN'T HE?

JUST STARED AT A CHICKEN'S ASSFOR, LIKE, A MONTH.

SEE SOMETHING WHITE AND ROUNDCOME OUT AND BE LIKE,

"I'M GONNA [BLEEP] EATTHAT [BLEEP]

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.

I'M GONNA PUT IT IN MY MOUTH,CHEW IT UP, AND SWALLOW IT."

"WHAT'S THAT WHITE PEECOMING OUT OF THAT COW?

"GET ME A [BLEEP] GLASS.

"I'M GONNA [BLEEP] DRINK

"WHATEVER'S COMINGOUT OF THIS COW.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY."

[ CHUCKLES ]

THANKS, GUYS.

I LIKE THINKING ABOUTTHE FIRST PEOPLE TO DO THINGS.

FIRST GUY TO SNEEZE.

MUST HAVE SCARED THE HELLOUT OF EVERYBODY.

A BUNCH OF CAVEMENARE HANGING AROUND A FIRE.

ONE OF THEM'S LIKE...[ SNEEZING ]

"CROG'S GONE MAD!"

THEY START KILLING HIMWITH ROCKS.

[ SCREAMS ]

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

SNEEZES ARE SCARY.

I WAS SITTING NEXT TOTHIS OLD LADY ON A BUS.

SHE SNEEZED, LIKE, A HALF-HOUR.

JUST...[ SNEEZES ]

"OH, BLESS YOU."

[ SNEEZES ]"AAH! AAH! BLESS YOU!"

[ SNEEZES ]"SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP!"

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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