Extended - Rachel Feinstein - Idiots Win

Amy Schumer Presents Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple Season 1, Ep 1 04/23/2016 Views: 1,192

After a man made Rachel Feinstein watch his favorite movie, it made her realize how much better life is for stupid people. (1:54)

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And he goes,

"Um, there's this movie aboutthe Rock, like the wrestler,

and he's one of my heroes."

We just skipped over that.It was like, okay, um...

And he goes,"It's about the Rock,

"and, like,this little girl,

"and like, they have to hang outtogether, it's amazing."

He's really pitchingthis to me.

He's like, "I mean, 'causehe's this big guy, you know?

And then he hangs out withthis little tiny girl, right?"

He's like,"That's great stuff.

"I mean, you know, big guy,and then he's hanging around

with a little girlall the time."

I'm like, "I get it.I get that, that's dumb."

He goes, "I mean, that'sgreat comedy right there.

You should put somethinglike that in your skit."

That's how little understandinghe had of what I did.

He thought I couldjust walk onstage,

describe a plot of an awfulmovie that I didn't write,

and then just drop the mic.

Like,"You're welcome, everyone."

Like, "Peace."

So we watched that movieand I've never seen--

I just gave in,"I was like, fine."

Um, I'm just lying there.

And I've never seen someoneso happy in my life.

Like, and I realized,like, dumb people win.

They win in every way,you know?

Like, this tool, I mean,just this beautiful peace

came across his faceevery time the Rock had to,

like, pick up a little purseor something, he'd be like,

(lowered)"Babe, look at that!

"She's a tiny little girl,he's huge!

Oh, my God,that's funny stuff."

Just kept looking at me like,

(lowered)"You think too much.You're thinking too much."

But it's true,like, he's happy.

I mean, pure joy.

He's reached some sort ofan elevated Buddha-like state.

I'm just sitting therelike gnarled and furious.

Just, like, dissectinghow dumb this movie is

and sitting there,like, all like, God damn it!

Fuck this shit!

(lowered)And he's just like,"Baby, big, little."