John Heffron - Stripper Dust

  • Season 8 , Ep 1
  • 01/29/2004
  • Views: 6,628

John makes his wife a card, complete with stripper dust. (1:58)

GOOD, GLAD TO HEAR IT.

SO LEARNED A BIG LESSON

LAST WEEK, I'D LIKE TO PASS

ALONG TO THE FELLOWS THAT ARE

HERE.

LET'S SAY FELLOWS YOU GO TO A

STRIP CLUB.

AND YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE

THERE.

RIGHT?

LET'S SAY YOU TOLD YOUR WIFE OR

GIRLFRIEND YOU WERE GOING TO GO

PAINT CHURCHES OR SOMETHING.

DON'T GET THE STRIPPER WEARING

THE GLITTER.

[LAUGHTER]

YES.

SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT

THE TIME, WHAT WITH WHITE SNAKE

PLAYING AND ALL.

HOWEVER, I WENT HOME WITH

STRIPPER DUST.

AND THAT'S A TOUGH ONE TO GET

OUT OF.

"YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH

ALL THAT GLITTER ON YOU?"

"UH-- MAKING YOU A CARD?"

[LAUGHTER]

PLUS I THINK EVERYBODY HERE

SHOULD GO TO YOUR LOCAL

STRIP CLUB AND SUPPORT THE

DANCERS 'CAUSE YOU WILL FIND

THAT THEY'RE ALL GOING TO

SCHOOL.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEY NEED MONEY FOR BOOKS

AND STUFF.

SO YOU SHOULD GIVE 'EM CASH.

BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU COULD BE ON

YOUR HOSPITAL GURNEY, GETTING

READY FOR YOUR DOUBLE BY-PASS,

LOOK UP, AND GO, "CINNAMON?

[LAUGHTER]

"YOU MADE IT!

NICE JOB!"

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

THAT WHOLE GLITTER THING,

FELLOWS, THOUGH, THAT'S AN

ARGUMENT YOU CAN'T WIN.

NOT THAT WE CAN WIN ARGUMENTS

ANYWAY 'CAUSE--

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU LADIES

GO TO LEARN HOW TO ARGUE.

BUT THAT PLACE IS GOOD.

[LAUGHTER]

MY LAST GIRLFRIEND LEARNED THIS

THING AT THAT LITTLE CAMP THAT

YOU LADIES ATTEND.

WHERE SHE WOULD ASK ME A

QUESTION AND THEN ANSWER IT

FOR ME.

[LAUGHTER]

LOOK, LADIES, IF WE DON'T NEED

TO BE THERE FOR THE ARGUMENTS--

REALLY, IF YOU CAN HAVE THAT

FIGHT WITHOUT US, BY ALL MEANS,

HAVE THAT FIGHT ON YOUR WAY HOME

FROM WORK.

JUST DRIVE HOME.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOUR PROBLEM

IS!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

GET OUT OF YOUR CAR.

WALK INTO THE HOUSE.

WON ANOTHER ONE.

[LAUGHTER]

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