Uncensored - Katt Williams - Being Hard

Season 1 , Ep 0101 Views: 74,097

Be hard, yes. But how the hell do you get angry at breakfast? (2:29)

TO MY NIGGAS,I KNOW YOU GOT TO BE HARD--

A BLACK MAN IN AMERICA,

YOU GOT TO BEA HARD MOTHERFUCKER.

BUT WE ALL KNOW NIGGASTHAT'S HARD

ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME.

YOU CAN'T FORGET TO ENJOYYOUR GODDAMN LIFE.

WE ALL KNOW NIGGAS IS HARD

AT 7:00IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING.

YOU LIKE, NIGGA, WAIT A MINUTE,NIGGA, YOU ANGRY AT BREAKFAST,

NIGGA?

YOU GANGBANGINGON BACON, NIGGA?

THIS IS...

I KNOW 50 CENT DONE MADE ITREAL COOL TO BE SHOT.

LET ME JUST SAY,I'VE BEEN SHOT BEFORE.

AIN'T SHIT COOL ABOUT IT.

WHEN I GOT SHOT,AIN'T NO BITCHES COME OUT,

AIN'T NO MUSIC PLAY, NOTHING.

THE FUCKED-UP PART,WHEN I GOT SHOT,

I WASN'T EVENIN THE ALTERCATION.

I'M OUTSIDE THE CLUBWATCHING SOME OTHER NIGGAS.

"LOOK AT THESE CRAZY NIGGAS.

"OH, SHIT,THAT NIGGA GOT A GUN.

NIGGAS BETTER GET ME GOOD."

BAM!

"WAIT A MINUTE, JESUS!

"PIMP DOWN!

PIMP 32, BITCH!GET THE TRUNK."

[breathes heavily]

THIS IS BULLSHIT.

I DONE GOT BLOOD IN MY PERM.

NIGGA, I'M FEELIN' A BLACKOUT.

I'M GONNA BLACK...

[laughs]

ALL I'M SAYING: YOU GOT TOENJOY YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE.

THAT'S ALL THE FUCKI'M SAYING.

ENJOY YOUR GODDAMN LIFE.

LIFE IS FUCKING SHORT.

ENJOY THAT SHIT.

SOME OF Y'ALLJUST NEED TO SMOKE SOME WEED

AND SEE IF IT DON'THELP THE QUALITY

OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LIFE.

I KNOW; I SEE SOME OF Y'ALL.

LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.

IF YOU AIN'T SMOKING WEED'CAUSE YOU GOT A GOOD JOB,

THEN BY ALL MEANS,MAKE YOUR PAPER, BOO-BOO.

BUT IF YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB,AND YOU NOT SMOKING WEED,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCKYOU ARE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.

I REALLY DON'T.

I REALLY DON'T.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHITABOUT, "IT'S A DRUG."

IT AIN'T NO MOTHERFUCKING DRUG.

I DONE DONE THE RESEARCH.

IT'S JUST A PLANT.

IT JUST GROW LIKE THAT,

AND IF YOU SHOULD SO HAPPENTO SET IT ON FIRE,

THERE ARE SOME EFFECTS.

BUT THAT'SNOT THE SAME AS DRUGS.

DRUGS, YOU GOT TO DO SHITTO IT CHEMICALLY.

YOU GOT TO ADD BAKING SODA,WATER, STIR IT UP--

I DON'T KNOW THE RECIPE.I'M JUST SAYING...

THERE'S SOME SHITYOU GOT TO DO TO IT.

BUT WHY THE FUCKIT'S ILLEGAL, I DON'T KNOW.

ASPIRIN IS PERFECTLY LEGAL,

BUT IF YOU TAKE13 OF THEM MOTHERFUCKERS,

IT'LL BE YOUR LAST HEADACHE.

LONG AS YOU BEEN LIVING,YOU AIN'T NEVER

HEARD OF A MOTHERFUCKEROVERDOSE ON MARIJUANA.

YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT THATNIGGA WAS DEAD; HE AIN'T DEAD.

HE GONNA WAKE UP IN 30 MINUTES

HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT UPEVERYTHING IN YOUR HOUSE.

THAT'S THE SIDE EFFECTS:HUNGRY, HAPPY, SLEEPY.

THAT'S IT.

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