Tom Cotter - Kid Games

  • Season 8 , Ep 13
  • 03/11/2004
  • Views: 4,120

Playing musical chairs teaches you not to share. (2:45)

WE SCREW CHILDREN UP, DON'T WE?

WHAT ARE WE TEACHING KIDS?

WE SEND THE WORST IMAGES RIGHT

INTO THEIR BRAINS.

YOU KNOW?

WE REINFORCE THE WORST THINGS.

LIKE THE GAMES, RED ROVER.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE GAME

RED ROVER NAMED AFTER THE

PATRON SAINT WITH THE DISLOCATED

SHOULDER?

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS GUY?

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT WAS THE MESSAGE THERE?

WHAT DID WE LEARN?

IF YOU SEE TWO PEOPLE

HOLDING HANDS RUN AS FAST AS YOU

CAN INTO THEM AND SNAP AN ELBOW.

THAT'S WHAT WE LEARNED FROM THAT

GAME.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

MUSICAL CHAIRS, WHAT DID THAT

TEACH US?

HOW NOT TO SHARE, THAT'S WHAT IT

TAUGHT US.

[LAUGHTER]

HOW IT'S OKAY TO HIP CHECK

SOMEONE ELSE'S FAT ASS OUT OF

THE WAY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AS LONG AS YOUR FANNY WAS

IN THAT SEAT WHEN THE MUSIC

STOPPED, RIGHT?

HIDE AND SEEK, WHAT DIDN'T THAT

TEACH US?

STALKING TECHNIQUES.

THAT'S WHAT IT TAUGHT US.

[LAUGHTER]

DODGE BALL TAUGHT US THE

DRIVE-BY.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE ALL SCREWED UP.

WHAT ARE WE TEACHING KIDS?

"BEAUTY AND THE BEAST."

REMEMBER THE STORY?

THE GIRL FALLS IN LOVE WITH

A YAK OR A WATER BUFFALO,

WHATEVER THE HELL IT WAS.

IT WAS WRONG ON MANY LEVELS.

THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.

"SLEEPING BEAUTY."

REMEMBER THIS ONE?

THE GIRL PASSES OUT AND THE GUY

STARTS KISSING HER.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

GEORGEY PORGY PUDDING AND PIE,

KISSED THE GIRLS AND MADE THEM

CRY.

SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEXUAL

HARASSMENT, BATTERY.

[LAUGHTER]

RUB-A-DUB-DUB THREE MEN

IN A TUB.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THAT'S A GOOD IMAGE FOR THE

KIDS.

WHY DON'T WE HAVE A PICTURE

OF THEM LATHERING EACH OTHER UP,

WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

FOR THE BETTER PART OF 50 YEARS

DONALD DUCK HAS BEEN WALKING

AROUND IN FRONT OF HIS NEPHEWS

HUGHIE, DEWEY AND LOUIE WITH

A SHIRT ON, NO PANTS.

EXPLAIN THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN HE LIVED

IN A SHOE.

SHE HAD SO MANY CHILDREN

SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

STOP SCREWING, HOW'S THAT

FOR A START.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU LIVE IN A SHOE YOU HOSE-BAG.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS,

REMEMBER THIS?

ONE HOT CHICK AND SEVEN,

MIDDLE AGED MIDGETS.

THAT'S A PORNO FILM, ISN'T IT?

AM I WRONG?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERY DAY THEY'D GO OFF TO WORK

AND CALL HER A PROSTITUTE.

REMEMBER THAT?

HIGH, HO.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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