Stephen Lynch - Why Mommy Left

  • Season 3 , Ep 9
  • 08/01/2000
  • Views: 34,626

Stephen Lynch had a number of problems that lead his divorce. (3:28)

NOW, KIDS, DO YOU KNOWWHAT A DIVORCE IS?

YEAH, IT--

[laughter]

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

IT'S WHEN YOUR MOMMY AND DADDYDON'T LIVE TOGETHER ANYMORE,

AND IT'S VERY HARD ON KIDS.

AND STEPHEN HAD A LITTLE GIRL,MEGAN, WHO WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE,

AND SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHYHER MOMMY WASN'T AROUND AS MUCH,

SO STEPHEN WROTE HER A LITTLELULLABY TO EXPLAIN IT.

[applause and shouting]

♪ HUSH, LITTLE GIRL.

♪ SWEET BABY, DON'T CRY

♪ TONIGHT.

♪ DADDY'S HERE,

♪ AND HE'LL SING YOUA SOFT LULLABY ♪

♪ TONIGHT.

♪ WHY CAN'T IT ALL BELIKE IT WAS BEFORE? ♪

♪ HOW CAN I EXPLAINWHY MOMMY'S NOT HERE ANYMORE? ♪

♪ 'CAUSE DADDY LIKES PORNOAND $10 WHORES. ♪

♪ DADDY GETS WASTEDAND ROBS LIQUOR STORES. ♪

♪ DADDY LIKES RUBBING AGAINSTLITTLE BOYS ON THE BUS. ♪

♪ I THINK THAT'S WHYYOUR MOMMY LEFT US. ♪

♪ MOMMY LEFT US.

♪ HUSH, LITTLE GIRL.

♪ THERE IS NO REASONTO FRET ♪

♪ TONIGHT.

♪ DON'T MIND THE SMOKE.

♪ DADDY JUST WANTS TO FORGET

[inhales]♪ TONIGHT.

♪ SOON IT WILL ALL BELIKE IT WAS BEFORE. ♪

♪ ANY MINUTE, SHE WILL WALKTHROUGH THAT FRONT DOOR. ♪

♪ BUT DADDY PLAYS POKERAND DRINKS LOTS OF BEER. ♪

♪ THEN HE WANTS SEXTHAT INVOLVES MOMMY'S REAR. ♪

♪ DADDY HAS SORESON HIS NAUGHTY PARTS ♪

♪ OOZING WITH PUS.

♪ I THINK THAT'S WHYYOUR MOMMY LEFT US. ♪

♪ PLEASE DON'T CRY.

♪ I SWEAR I'LL TRY

♪ TO BE HERE BY YOUR SIDE.

♪ RIGHT AFTER DADDY GETS HOMEFROM THE BAR, ♪

♪ VISITS HIS BOOKIE,AND STEALS A NEW CAR, ♪

♪ HE'LL DRIVETO THE STRIP CLUB. ♪

♪ AND IF DADDYPLAYS HIS CARDS RIGHT, ♪

♪ HE'LL BRING HOMEYOUR NEW MOMMY TONIGHT. ♪

♪ AY-DE-DI, AY-DE-DI-DIDE-DI-DI, DE-DI, ♪

♪ LA-DE-DI,LI-DE-DI-DI-DE-DI, ♪

♪ LEE-DI-DE-DI-DE-DI,LEE-DI-DI-DE-DI. ♪

[applause]

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