Kurt Metzger - Religious Tolerance

  • Season 13 , Ep 1
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 18,976

If you see a grown man dressed like Space Ghost, just assume he doesn't listen to people. (2:31)

DO YOU THINK GODCOULD BE A WOMAN?

DO YOU THINKTHAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE,

THAT GOD'S A WOMANAND NOT A MAN?

[ APPLAUSE ]I AGREE.

I AGREE WITH YOU, LADIES,

BECAUSE I ACTUALLY READ THEBIBLE, NOT LIKE THESE PEOPLE.

I READ THE BIBLE,AND IF YOU READ IT,

IT SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE,

'CAUSE FIRST OF ALL,YOU GOT TO WORSHIP HIM

AND TELL HIMHOW [BLEEP] GREAT HE IS

EVERY GODDAMN DAYOF YOUR LIFE.

UH, HE'S GOT A LOT OF LONG,BORING STORIES

THAT YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO.

UH, HE RUINS YOUR SUNDAYEVERY GODDAMN SUNDAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE ALWAYS NEEDS YOUR MONEYFOR SOME REASON.

THAT'S LIKE EVERY CHICKI'VE EVER BEEN WITH!

SO, FOR THOSE REASONS, I THINKTHERE'S A GOOD POSSIBILITY.

DO YOU THINK THAT JESUSCOULD BE BLACK?

DO YOU THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE?

[ SPORADIC APPLAUSE ]

SOMEONE YELLED IT AT ME.SOMEONE YELLED THAT AT ME TODAY.

IT WAS A BLACK ISRAELITE,WHICH --

THEY'RE IN A LOT OF CITIES.

THEY'RE, LIKE,THIS BLACK SUPREMACY GROUP

THAT WEARS ROBES --LIKE, ROBES AND STUFF --

AND THEY STAND IN THE STREETWITH MEGAPHONES

AND THEY YELLAT WHITE TOURISTS WALKING BY.

AND THERE'S THIS ADORABLE,WHITE TOURIST

TRYING TO ARGUE WITH THEM.

LIKE, THEY'RE GONNA TALK THEMOUT OF THAT [BLEEP]

IF YOU SEE A GROWN MANDRESSED LIKE SPACE GHOST

IN THE MIDDLEOF THE STREET TOURS,

JUST ASSUMETHAT HE DON'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE.

SO, HE YELLED THAT AT ME.HE SAID, "JESUS WAS BLACK."

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?I DON'T CARE.

I JUST DON'T LIKEHOW HE SAID THAT TO ME,

LIKE HE WAS TRYINGTO HURT MY FEELINGS.

LIKE, BLACK JESUSCOULD NEVER LOVE ME.

THAT'S WHAT HE WAS TRYINGTO IMPLY.

AND I DON'T THINK THAT JESUSIS BLACK OR WHITE, OKAY?

I THINK HE'S [BLEEP] IMAGINARY.

[ LAUGHS ]

WAIT, NO, THAT --THAT CAME OUT WRONG.

THAT CAME OUT WAY WRONG.

THAT'S NOT COOL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NO, ALL I'M TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT I DON'T RESPECT OTHERPEOPLE'S BELIEFS, ALL RIGHT?

NONE OF YOU DO, THOUGH.

YOU DON'T RESPECT -- YOU DON'TRESPECT RELIGIONS YOU'RE NOT IN,

ESPECIALLY IF THEY GOTTO DRESS UP.

YOU'RE LIKE,"WHAT'S WITH THAT HAT?

GO [BLEEP] YOURSELF."YOU DON'T CARE.

YOU HAVE RELIGIOUS TOLERANCE,RIGHT?

THAT MEANS WHAT IT SAYS.

"I CAN TOLERATE YOUAND YOUR MADE-UP NONSENSE

"THAT'S RUINING THE WORLD.

I HAVE --I CAN STOMACH YOU, BASICALLY."

THAT'S NOT, LIKE, RESPECT.

RESPECT IS LIKE,"OH, YOU'RE AMISH,

"AND YOU HAVE TO DRESS LIKEA GIANT HOBBIT?

"THAT'S AWESOME.

"THAT'S -- THAT'S NOT EVENA COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.

I REALLY..."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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