Jon Reep - Beer Math

  • Season 10 , Ep 11
  • 03/23/2006
  • Views: 41,946

Beer is Jon's kryptonite. (3:12)

YOU GOT BEER DRINKERS IN HERE?

OH MY GOD. THAT'S MY KRYPTONITE. THAT'S MY WEAKNESS.

I'D MARRY BEER IF I COULD. "WILL YOU BEER TAKE ME,

TO BE YOURAWFULLY WETTED HUSBAND,UNTIL A DUI DO US PART?"

I LOVE YOU BEER.

I'D LIKE TO MEET THE GUYTHAT INVENTED BEER

AND THEN BUY THAT DUDE A BEER.

- YES. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I EVEN LOVE THOSE OLD BEER SLOGANS, MAN.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER THIS ONE? "THERE'S OLD MILWAUKEE.

THAT DON'T GET NO BETTER THAN THIS."

- YES, IT DOES.- [LAUGHTER]

THEY SHOULD SAY,"OLD MILWAUKEE.

IT DON'T GET NO CHEAPER THAN THIS." THAT'S WHY YOU BUY IT.

THAT'S WHY YOU EVER BOUGHT IT.

I KNOW YOU'VE ALL DONE THAT BEER MATH IN YOUR HEAD, RIGHT?

YOU'RE IN FRONT OF THE BEER COOLER AT THE GROCERY STORE.

YOU'RE FREAKING OUT."HANG ON. I'LL GET THIS.

I CAN FIGURE THIS OUT NOW, HANG ON.

OKAY. OKAY.HERE'S THE DEAL.

WE CAN GET A CASE OF HEINEKEN OR 15 CASES OF OLD MILWAUKEE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S A NO-BRAINER. THAT'S MILWAUKEE EVERY TIME.

HOW MUCH FUN DO YOU WANNA HAVE?

I LIKE BUDWEISER.THAT'S MY FAVORITE BEER.

NOT BECAUSE OF THE WAY IT TASTES OR ANYTHING,

BUT BECAUSE IT'STHE EASIEST ONE TO ORDERWHEN YOU'RE HAMMERED.

BARTENDER SAYS, "LAST CALL." YOU CANNOT SAY, "HEINEKEN,"

- AFTER 15 HEINEKENS. - [LAUGHTER]

"LAST CALL, WHAT CAN I GET YOU?"

- "HAVADED. - [LAUGHTER]

"HANNANEKI. HEINAKINAKINAKINAKINE.

BUD."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

YOU CAN ALWAYS SAY "BUD."

I GOT A BETTER ONE THOUGH.

I'M COMING OUT WITH MY OWN BEER.

IT'S GONNA BE HUGE. I'M GONNA BE RICH.

- I'M GONNA NAME IT "UH." - [LAUGHTER]

"LAST CALL, WHAT COULD I GET YOU?"

- "UH. TWO PLEASE." - [LAUGHTER]

"$17.50." "PUT THAT ON A CARD."

THIS IS HOW MUCHI LOVE BEER,

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED THIS YET.

HAVE YOU SEEN MY BELT BUCKLE? CHECK IT OUT Y'ALL.

IT'S A BOTTLE OPENER. LOOK AT THAT.

YEAH. DUDES, YOU GOTTA GET ONE OF THESE, MAN.

CHICKS DIG IT.

YOU SEE A GIRL WITH A BEER AT PARTY.

"LEMME GET THAT FOR YOU,SWEETHEART." PA-PAH!

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A WHOLE BUCKET OF BEERS OVER HERE.

ALRIGHTY. PA-PAH-PAH-PAH-PAH-PAH-PAH!

[LAUGHTER]

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