Happy anniversary to the iPhone!
-Yay!-(cheers and applause)
Aw. There it is.
I love you so much.I just (bleep) love you so much.
(laughter and groaning)
No. Hey, it's very important.
Don't neglect the port.Do not neglect the port.
ten years ago today,the revolutionary smart phone
and thumb-grease receptaclewas introduced
at the Dianetics seminarfor geeks-- Macworld.
-Take a look.-An iPod.
and an Internet communicator.
An iPod, a phone,
a three-and-a-half-inchporno machine
for masturbatingin the bathroom at work.
-(laughter) -You see wherewe're going with this?
I used to go to the Macworld
keynote speeches.They were incredible.
I had third-row, Jobs,like, 2009.
Everyone who saw this knew
that the iPhone would bean instant classic,
except, of course, for thegenius who owns the Clippers.
Take a look.
"There's no chancethat the iPhone is going
"to get anysignificant market share.
Steve Ballmer, 2007."
besides a headphone jack,
what would you get the iPhonefor its anniversary?
I would get it oneof those Edible Arrangements.
I mean, the iPhone can't...can't eat it...
...but... but the little kidswho live in the dorms in China
and make the iPhones--they would love to have food.
-HARDWICK: They will. Okay.All right. -(laughter, groaning)
-I'll give you points for that.-(applause and cheering)
Maybe... maybe the, uh...maybe the factory
that makes the iPhones willfinally get a fire escape.
-HARDWICK: Okay, great.Uh, points. -(laughter)
-(applause)-Very fair point. Thomas.
-Anal.-HARDWICK: Uh, points.
-Yeah, it's a birthday.-(laughter)
-Damn it! -It's a birthday.-(applause and cheering)