Happy Anniversary, iPhone

Monday, January 9, 2017 01/09/2017 Views: 98

Dan Bakkedahl, Betsy Brandt and Thomas Sadoski shower the iPhone with gifts on its 10th anniversary. (1:53)

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Happy anniversary to the iPhone!

-Yay!-(cheers and applause)

Aw. There it is.

I love you so much.I just (bleep) love you so much.

(goofy groaning)

(laughter and groaning)

No. Hey, it's very important.

Don't neglect the port.Do not neglect the port.

(laughter)

Ten... ten...

ten years ago today,the revolutionary smart phone

and thumb-grease receptaclewas introduced

at the Dianetics seminarfor geeks-- Macworld.

-Take a look.-An iPod.

A phone

and an Internet communicator.

HARDWICK:Ah!

An iPod, a phone,

a three-and-a-half-inchporno machine

for masturbatingin the bathroom at work.

-(laughter) -You see wherewe're going with this?

I used to go to the Macworld

keynote speeches.They were incredible.

I had third-row, Jobs,like, 2009.

Everyone who saw this knew

that the iPhone would bean instant classic,

except, of course, for thegenius who owns the Clippers.

Take a look.

"There's no chancethat the iPhone is going

"to get anysignificant market share.

Steve Ballmer, 2007."

-(laughter)-Uh, comedians,

besides a headphone jack,

what would you get the iPhonefor its anniversary?

Betsy Brandt.

I would get it oneof those Edible Arrangements.

I mean, the iPhone can't...can't eat it...

(laughter)

...but... but the little kidswho live in the dorms in China

and make the iPhones--they would love to have food.

-HARDWICK: They will. Okay.All right. -(laughter, groaning)

-I'll give you points for that.-(applause and cheering)

Dan Bakkedahl.

Maybe... maybe the, uh...maybe the factory

that makes the iPhones willfinally get a fire escape.

-HARDWICK: Okay, great.Uh, points. -(laughter)

-(applause)-Very fair point. Thomas.

-Anal.-HARDWICK: Uh, points.

-Yeah, it's a birthday.-(laughter)

-Damn it! -It's a birthday.-(applause and cheering)