Jimmy Shubert - Will Work for Food

Ford, Benson, Roy, Shubert Season 4, Ep 0410 12/18/2000 Views: 3,067

You see all kinds of freaky stuff in Los Angeles. (1:33)

ALL RIGHT, LOS ANGELES.

YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS TOWN, MAN.

YOU SEE ALL KINDS OF FREAKY

STUFF.

I WAS DRIVING AROUND TODAY,

I PULL OFF THE FREEWAY,

I GET STUCK AT THE BOTTOM

OF THE OFF-RAMP.

THERE'S A GUY STANDING THERE,

HAD TO BE TIPPING THE SCALES

AT A SMOOTH 420 POUNDS.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY HE WAS FAT,

LET'S SAY HE WAS GRAVITATIONALLY

CHALLENGED.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, THE BACK OF HIS NECK

LOOKED LIKE A PACKAGE OF BALL

PARK FRANKS.

AND HE'S HOLDING A CARDBOARD

SIGN THAT SAYS, "WILL WORK FOR

FOOD."

(LAUGHTER)

THE AUDACITY OF IT!

I'M SCREAMING OUT MY CAR WINDOW,

"HEY!

TAKE SOME TIME OFF, WILL YA?

(LAUGHTER)

WHO ARE YOU, A WORKAHOLIC?

GIVE SOMEBODY ELSE A CHANCE,

YOU BASTARD!"

ANYWAY, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.

I WAS JUST BACK VISITING MY

FAMILY.

SAW MY GRANDMOTHER, WHICH WAS

GREAT.

DON'T GET TO SEE HER ENOUGH.

I WALK IN HER HOUSE, FIRST THING

SHE SAYS TO ME IS, "JIMMY, LAST

TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE THIS

HIGH."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

"IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO,

GRAMS.

YOU HOLDIN'?"

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE GRANDMA'S

PRETTY HEAVILY-MEDICATED

MOST OF THE TIME HERSELF.

SHE LIKES TO TAKE THOSE BUS

RIDES UP INTO CANADA,

GET THAT CHEAP PHARMACEUTICAL.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY SHE'S ON

MEDICATION BUT SHE HAS AN ELVIS

PEZ DISPENSER WITH VALIUM IN IT.

(LAUGHTER)