Uncensored - Speed Roasting - Let's Make a Deal

Season 2, Ep 3 01/22/2013 Views: 6,430

With help from Margaret Cho, Brian Posehn and James Adomian, Jeff speeds roasts an Armenian, a Mexican metal head and the worst undercover cop he's ever seen. (3:05)

Who wants to be speed-roasted?


Hands up.

Hands up.

Oh, this is irresistible.

Stand up, buddy.


How you doing?

-I'm pretty good.

-Come over here.

How's it going?

What's your name?


-Do Iranians get off aplane when you get on?



BRIAN POSEHN: He looks Armenian.

Are you in Systemof a Down Syndrome?

-I think you left your rideat the World Trade Center.

-Too harsh, James?

-Yeah, yeah.

Armenians never did anything.

(ARMENIAN ACCENT) Why do wewant these cheap cigarettes?

-If you had to fuck somebodyon our panel, would it be?


You could have a roofie.

You can't have a roofie.

-I'll take her.

-Oh, thanks.



-You said it like youwere on the "Let's Make

a Deal" or something.

All right, givethis guy some love.

-Behind curtain number--

-Did this lady have her hand up?

Are you OK?

You want to stand up?

What's your name, darling?



Oh my god.

How long you've been smoking?

No, you're very cute.

-Thank you So are you.


-Holy shit.

What's that?

BRIAN POSEHN: She'sa real person?

I thought that guywas just wearing

a Stevie Nicks backpack.


-Oh my god.

Russell Crowe if he punchedhimself in the face.

Say hi to ourroasters this week.

-Hi, Margaret.

Hi, James.

Can't remember you.

-Oh, man.

BRIAN POSEHN: Well, you looklike Zach Galifia-no-thank-you.

-Who you here with this time?

-Um, well, my mom and my dad.

-These two right here?

I thought they were twins.

How you doing, man?

Stand up.

Are you volunteering?

-Community service.

-Community service?

JAMES ADOMIAN: Is thathow you get your audience?


-Is that how youget your audience?

-That's exactly howhe gets his audience.


Leave that dude alone.

He's one of my people.

If it wasn't for Mexican metalheads and nerdy fat guys,

I wouldn't own a house.

-What are you in MotleyLandscaping Crue?

How you doing, sir?


How are you, sir?

-You are the worst undercovercop I've ever seen.


-I'm an officer in the Navy.

-What's that?

-I'm an officer in the Navy.

-Oh my god.

I got to jerk off.

-I thought I lookedlike a pedophile.

Good lord.


-He doesn't need a van.

Just uses his mustache.

-He's cute, no, Margaret?

-Well, I think he's cute.

I mean, he looks kindof like a lesbian.

Like he's gotten sort of amom jeans thing happening,

but it's super cute.

-Thanks to all our volunteers.

You're a great crowd.

All right.

Thank you, everybody.

One more time forMargaret, James, Brian.