Donald Trump's Elegant "Inaugurination"

Wednesday, January 11, 2017 01/11/2017 Views: 238

Donald Trump promises that his inauguration will be classy, so Matt Kirshen, Emily Fleming and Rhys Darby divulge some of the fine details that Americans can expect. (2:17)

The Internet lost its (bleep)last night

over some salacious new gossipgenerated by BuzzFeed

about President-ElectDonald Trump.

The explosive leakis unverified.

-(laughter)-Uh, we don't know if it's true.

Now I have to say,we were working

last night when this broke.

I didn't really get allthe details-- I'm really busy--

but I honestlydon't see what the big deal is.

Everybody loves The Golden Girls.

-What is the problem?-(laughter)

It's especially...

What's the big deal?

-(cheers and applause)-Yeah. Right?

Oh.

And if they're peeing on you,even better.

(laughter and groaning)

At a press conferencethis morning, Trump confirmed

via catchphrase that his sonswill be running his companies.

I hope at the end of eightyears, I'll come back,

and I'll say,"Oh, you did a good job."

Otherwise, if they do a bad job,I'll say, "You're fired."

-(laughter)-I see he did the, uh...

It's the thing he saidon the thing.

-(laughter)-He also...

He also promised reporters

his inauguration would be"very, very elegant."

Instead of popular A-listers

and artiststhat millions of people

would be interested in seeing,his planner said

he'll be surroundedwith "soft sensuality."

A "soft sensuality."

I don't know. Maybe likea nice, romantic dinner at home

with Mike Huckabeein a velvet robe.

-(laughter)-That's very soft.

And sensual.

Don't neglect the Huckabees.

Uh, comedians, with allthis craziness surrounding

our golden leader, how exactlyis Trump's inauguration

going to be elegant?Emily?

He's gonna swearon a solid gold bible

that encrustedin Swarovski crystals,

but it'll be the size of,you know, like,

-a cereal box you get at a dinerso that, uh... -(laughter)

...you know, so thathis little hand looks real big.

-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Yeah. Okay, points.

-(applause)-Points. Matt Kirshen.

Uh, it'll smelllike the finest asparagus.

-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Yes. Points.

Points. Rhys.

Thanks, everybody.

(laughter)

-Ah. -Very good.HARDWICK: Yes. I'm so sorry.

It must of been hardfor you to start talking

from that thunderous roundof applause.

(laughter)

What's...?

(laughter)

We've got a good four yearsahead of us.

I thinkthis large red button will

launch my fireworks display.

-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Okay.

Oh.

(imitates explosion)

(laughter)