Gene Pompa - Hispanics in Movies

  • Season 8 , Ep 17
  • 03/25/2004
  • Views: 1,355

Hispanics only get to audition for criminal roles. (2:21)

I WENT THROUGH THIS REALLY BAD

CUSSING PHASE WHEN I WAS

THREE-YEARS-OLD.

MY MOM, SHE ASKED ME SOMETHING

REALLY SIMPLE.

LIKE SHE'D SAY, "WHY DON'T YOU

JUST GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM?"

AND I'D SAY, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST

GO TO HELL?"

SHE'D GET REALLY MAD.

SHE'D START SPANKING ME AND I

START CRYING AND STUFF.

"GOD, MOM, I DON'T KNOW ANY

BETTER.

I'M JUST A LITTLE BOY,

YOU STUPID BITCH."

[LAUGHTER]

AND SHE'D SNAP.

"YOU WANNA GET YOUR BUTT

SPANKED?"

AND I'D SAY, "NO.

BUT I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING AN

[BLEEP]-LICKING.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT WOULD BE NICE."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

MY MOM WASN'T THE MOST

CONVENTIONAL MEXICAN-AMERICAN

MOTHER.

BUT SHE DID RAISE FOUR CHILDREN

BY HERSELF.

AND EVERY YEAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY

SHE WOULD MAKE ME A BIRTHDAY

CAKE FROM SCRATCH.

YOU KNOW, SHE LET ME LICK THE

EGG BEATERS.

AND THEN SHE WOULD TURN THEM ON.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THAT WOULD HURT MY TONGUE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I FELT BAD FOR OLDER MALE LATINO

ACTORS.

'CAUSE OLDER MALE HISPANIC

ACTORS, THEY ALWAYS GIVE THEM

THE SAME CRAPPY LINE IN EVERY

HACKY MOVIE.

LIKE YOU'LL SEE THE GUY'S SON.

AND HE'LL DIE IN A HAIL OF

GUNFIRE.

THEN THE FATHER, HE'LL DROP TO

HIS KNEES AND HE'LL GO, "YOU

DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HE WAS MY ONLY SON."

[LAUGHTER]

WHICH IS SO STUPID 'CAUSE WHAT

ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO SAY?

"IT'S OKAY.

I'VE GOT TWO OTHER SONS.

WELL, HE WAS JUST THE MIDDLE

CHILD."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I TOLD MY MANAGER, "I DON'T

WANNA GO TO ANY MORE AUDITIONS

FOR THIS HISPANIC/LATINO ROLES

BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS WANT ME TO

PLAY A CRIMINAL AND THEN ON TOP

OF IT THEY NEVER HIRE ME.

[LAUGHTER]

LIKE LAST TIME I WENT AND

AUDITIONED I SAID, "WHAT'S MY

PART?"

AND THE LADY GOES, "YOU'RE A

MEXICAN AND YOU'RE AN ASSASSIN

AND YOUR NAME IS MUERTE."

[LAUGHTER]

THE WAY THEY WANTED ME TO READ

THE NAME WAS,

[THICK HISPANIC ACCENT]

"HELLO, MY NAME IS MUERTE.

MEANS DEATH TO YOU MY FRIEND.

AND NOW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."

BUT INSTEAD JUST TO PISS THEM

OFF I MADE UP MY OWN LINE.

I SAID,

[CAUCASIAN] "HELLO, MY NAME'S

MUERTE AND I'M YOUR ASSASSIN.

AND YOU BETTER WATCH IT OR I'M

GONNA GET YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD.

I'LL SOCK YOU IN THE STOMACH."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

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