Cory Kahaney - Sex Questions

  • Season 8 , Ep 27
  • 06/10/2004
  • Views: 10,648

THEY'RE EITHER STONERS OR SLUTS.

STONERS OR SLUTS, THAT'S WHAT

COMES OVER TO MY HOUSE.

YEAH.

I LIKE THE SLUTS.

THEY ALWAYS GIVE ME A GOOD

LAUGH.

ONE MY DAUGHTER'S FRIENDS SAID

TO ME, SHE GOES, "COULD I ASK

YOU A QUESTION 'CAUSE YOU KNOW A

LOT ABOUT SEX RIGHT?

ALRIGHT.

AND ALRIGHT, IT'S REALLY

EMBARRASSING BUT I JUST WANNA

ASK YOU.

UM, ALRIGHT, SO HAVE YOU EVER

TRIED 69?"

[LAUGHTER]

AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, LIKE IN

'89."

[LAUGHTER]

I'M NOT BIG ON THE 69.

CAN I JUST SAY THAT?

[LAUGHTER]

I'M NOT.

I REALLY--

69, OVERRATED.

IT IS.

I DON'T REALLY THINK ANYBODY

GETS OFF PROPERLY IN 69.

[LAUGHTER]

MATTER OF FACT, I THINK 69

IS RUDE.

IT'S RUDE, IT IS.

IT'S LIKE SAYING TO SOMEONE,

"OKAY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX,

RIGHT?

BUT WE'RE GONNA GO DUTCH."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MY HUSBAND SAID THE FUNNIEST

THING TO ME THE OTHER DAY.

HE SAID THAT WHEN MY DAUGHTER

GOES OFF TO COLLEGE, WE SHOULD

START WORKIN' ON US HAVIN' OUR

OWN BABY.

YOU LIKED THE 69 JOKE, BUT THAT

WAS REAL COMEDY TO ME.

OH, THAT WAS FUNNY!

YEAH.

I SAID, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT

THAT'S LIKE?

THAT'S LIKE ASKING SOMEBODY

WHO JUST GOT OVER FOOD POISONING

IF THEY WANT A BURRITO."

[LAUGHTER]

I MAY DO IT.

I MAY DO IT, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW.

I NEED THE MATERIAL.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS?

I MISS ONE THING ABOUT HAVING

A LITTLE KID.

I MISS HALLOWEEN, YOU KNOW?

I REALLY DO.

HALLOWEEN, PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE,

BUT HALLOWEEN IS MOTHER'S DAY,

OKAY?

MOTHER'S DAY SUCKS.

WHAT DO YOU GET FOR MOTHER'S

DAY?

YOU GET A CARD WITH PASTED

KIDNEY BEANS AND MACARONI

AND GLITTER AND IT'S ALL OVER

THE APARTMENT?

IT'S NOT A GREAT DAY FOR US.

HALLOWEEN IS PAYDAY, FOLKS.

AND A LOT OF PARENTS ARE

STRANGE.

THEY SAY RATION THE CANDY.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THAT?

RATION THE CANDY.

I SAY LET 'EM EAT AS MUCH AS

THEY WANT, THEY THROW UP,

THE REST IS MINE.

THAT'S HOW I HANDLE HALLOWEEN.

[APPLAUSE]

AND--

AND PEOPLE USED TO FEEL SORRY

ME.

THEY'D SAY, "OH, YOU CAN'T GO

TRICK-OR-TREATING FROM HOUSE

TO HOUSE," YOU KNOW 'CAUSE WE

LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

WE GO TO A BUILDING ON THE

CORNER WITH 37 FLOORS, I SIT

IN THE LOBBY, READ A MAGAZINE.

SHE COMES DOWN WITH FOUR BAGS

OF CANDY.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE TOO

TIRED TO GO ACROSS THE STREET?

NO, YOU WORK FOR ME TODAY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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