Otis Lee Crenshaw - New York City

  • Season 7, Ep 11
  • 04/17/2003
  • Views: 4,088

In New York, crazy people schedule when they're going to urinate in public. (1:42)

Otis Lee Crenshaw: LAST TIME

I WAS IN NEW YORK, THEY HAD

A GUN CLOCK, I GUESS IT'S GONE

NOW.

THAT WAS IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS

IN NEW YORK.

YOU WEREN'T HERE THEN.

NO, THEY USED TO HAVE A CLOCK

RIGHT OVER THERE IN TIMES

SQUARE.

IT WOULD CHANGE EVERY TIME

SOMEONE GOT SHOT WITH A PISTOL.

PEOPLE WOULD GO DOWN THERE

AND SHOOT EACH OTHER JUST

TO WATCH THE CLOCK CHANGE.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT IT AIN'T LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

NOW IT'S ALL NICE, NICE, NICE.

EVERYBODY'S NICE.

PEOPLE SAY, "OH, NEW YORK IS SO

MUCH NICER THAN IT USED TO BE.

LIKE THAT'S AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

YOU'RE (BLEEP) SUPPOSED TO BE

NICE.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S THE POINT.

AND JERSEY, TOO, MA'AM.

WHERE THE HELL DID THAT

COME FROM?

I GOT NOTHING AGAINST

NEW JERSEY.

ARE YOU UPSET 'CAUSE I DIDN'T

MENTION NEW JERSEY IN MY SHOW?

HOW MUCH GEOGRAPHICAL PRODUCT

PLACEMENT CAN I PUT INTO

A HALF AN HOUR, LADY?

OH, SHE'S JUST LONELY.

USING TELEVISION AS A FORMAT

TO GET ATTENTION.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM IN

NEW JERSEY, MA'AM?

HOBOKEN.

LOVELY TOWN.

(LAUGHTER)

OFTEN CALLED THE TENNESSEE

OF NEW JERSEY, I BELIEVE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WELL, THAT'S THE THING ABOUT

NEW YORK.

EVEN THE CRAZY PEOPLE,

THE LOONIES, THE NUTTERS OUT ON

THE STREET, HALF OF 'EM HAVE

WATCHES.

EVEN IF YOU'RE NUTS IN NEW YORK

CITY YOU STILL GOT A TIME

SCHEDULE YOU HAVE TO STAY TO.

LET'S SEE, 4:30, CONDUCT PIGEON

ORCHESTRA.

(LAUGHTER)

6 PM PEE ON FLORAL CLOCK

IN GARDEN.

BOY.

NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY

FOR ME.

Loading...