Trump Inauguration vs. Women's March on Washington

January 23, 2017 - Matt Taibbi 01/23/2017 Views: 44,245

Jordan Klepper asks Donald Trump supporters for reassurance before his presidential inauguration, and Desi Lydic finds out why women are protesting the new administration. (4:18)

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Now...

this weekend,

our own Jordan Klepperand Desi Lydic joined the crowds

for both the inaugurationand the protests.

We turn to them now.

KLEPPER: The inauguration is America's wedding day,

uniting the people with their new leader.

And like any nervous bachelor, I spent my last moments

of freedom saying good-bye to old friends...

It was a good run.

I'm gonna miss you.

...and ended up at a strip club,

thinking about the ones that got away.

Could've been Jeb,could've been Marco.

-(bleep) take Ted Cruz. -The big day had arrived,

but I still had doubts.

I needed reassurance from the people

who had already said yes to Trump.

-Should I be nervous?-What are you worried about?

I don't know his friendssuper well, but they seem

a little... white supremacy.

-No, well, I've seen blacks.-You've seen blacks?

-Yeah. -Well, not at theinauguration. Just in general.

No, there's a lot here.Look around.

Maybe not right here,but they're all around.

Everybody's around.You got a Chinese...

a Asian guy right there.

No-no blacks standing righthere, but they're out here.

America is a business,first and foremost.

And we just put a guywho's been bankrupt

-multiple times in charge of it.-He used the system.

It's likeyou're cheating on your wife,

and then she gives youa second chance.

You know now what not to do.

Because the next time,you'll lose her.

Okay, next time that happens,can you call my wife for me?

'Cause, trust me, that logic...

that logic... that logicdoesn't work everywhere.

With all the players in place,

I steadied myself for the big event.

If you look up close,you can see the man

who's gonna be running ourcountry for the next four years.

Jared Kushner is standingright next to D.T.

KLEPPER: And wouldn't you know it?

A little rain on the wedding day.

-Make America great again!-(applause and cheering)

KLEPPER: Mazel tov! You may now grab the pussy.

It's official. Donald Trumpis president of the United S...

(Trump's speech playsindistinctly in the distance)

...is presidentof the United Sta...

...is in charge.I can't. I can't.

So, I began to panic.

(echoing): Crime. Tombstones across the land.

...disrepair and decay.

It's going to be okay, right?

(panting)

Why does everybody here looklike Rudy Giuliani?

I need whiskey. American whiskey.

-Great. Thank you.-MAN: All right. Good luck.

(sound of heart beating loudly)

Ah, good old American whiskey.

(bleep)

God, how did this happen?

I can't believe this happened. I can't believe this...

LYDIC: Oh, it happened.

We committed to a Trump presidency

for the next four years.

But don't worry, because day one, what do we do?

-The Women's March. -(women chanting)

It's like a really gigantic morning after pill

that's needed after a regretful evening.

There are so many people here,

I can't even see the endof how many people.

By Trump math, there aboutfour billion people here.

People of all genders, races, ages, like these millennials.

I am loving your pink hats.

What do they represent?

Now can't you figure that out?They're pussies.

Well, who do I haveto grab around here

-to get a pink pussy hat?-Don't grab, honey.

-It's all yours.-Oh. Do you have one

that's a little smallerand less floppy?

I just want it to be accurate.

It was so inspiring to be part of a movement

that had not only spread across the country,

but to all seven continents.

And there were (bleep) ton of reasons to march.

-Planned Parenthood.-Anti-gun.

-The environment, of course.-Justice.

-College tuition. -Black women,Muslim women, refugees.

There's no right that's notunder attack right now.

As a 75-year-old lesbian,I'm fighting like hell.

LYDIC: Say no more. I got this.

(whooping)

-For women!-(chanting)

The one good thing about Trump is

that he brought millions of people together,

even if it was caused by dread, doubt, fear of tiny hands.

It didn't matter,

because we had a plan for the next four years.

Be sad for a minuteand then get up and go fight.

Writing your congress people andletting them know how you feel.

We need to resiston every level.

-Yeah.-We'll stay here and fight.

Make a better decisionnext time.

LYDIC: There were a lot of plans,

but there was one great unifying message

that everyone could agree on.

-And these women said it best. -(bleep) Donald Trump.

(bleep) Donald Trump.(bleep) Donald Trump.

(bleep) Donald Trump. (bleep)Donald Trump.

(whooping)

(applause and cheering)