Drake Witham - Temping

Season 1 , Ep 0106 08/24/06 Views: 1,861

Temp work is empowering. (2:22)

( laughter )

Let me tell you somethingabout working a temp job.

There's nothing more empoweringthan being paid to not care.

Now, I used to workcustomer service

for a beauty products company.

I got a letterfrom a seven-year-old girl.

She said, "I love usingyour shampoo,

but I want to knowif you test on animals."

I'm thinking that'sa great letter, you know.

Seven years old, she's active.

But I'm a temp.

I don't care.

So I wrote back, I wrote, "No.No, we don't test on animals,

but what a good idea."

( laughter )

I had one bossshe used to say to me,

"Some of my best friendsare black."

"I don't see color.

I don't care if you're white,black or purple."


"Really? You don't careif someone's purple?

'Cause that's gonna set offsome alarm bells for me.

"I mean, if someone'sever foolish enough

"to put me in a positionwhere I hire people,

"and I got a white guyand a black guy...

"and a purple guy.

I'm definitely not goingto hire the purple guy."

( laughter )

Besides, everyone knowsthat purple people are lazy.

( laughter )

And talking...

Thank you. Thank you.

( applause )

And I don't know whereI got this work ethic from.

My, uh, my fatheris a hardworking man.

In fact, my father never slept,never slept.

Oh, he used to rest his eyesquite a bit.

( laughter )

He would never admithe was sleeping.

"Dad you're falling asleep."

He said, "No, no, no,just resting my eyes."

So I tried to throw thisback at him,

"No, Dad, I'm not ignoring you.

I'm resting my ears."

"You know, Dad, I'm not drunk.

I'm resting my abilityto make sound decisions."

( laughter )

"No, Dad, I'm not hung over.

"I'm resting my desireto wake up

covered in somethingother than vomit and shame."