Chuck Sklar - Lottery

Katz, Barry, Sklar Brothers Season 2, Ep 0211 05/26/1993 Views: 485

The lottery has unrealistic names for its tickets. (1:19)

And lost $1,500 playing craps.

I was pretty annoyed,but think about it.

I should'nt havebeen too surprised.

I was playing agame called "craps."

Did I expect tohave a good time?

I think the lottery could takea lesson from craps, right?

Because doesn't the lotteryhave pretty unrealistic names

for those tickets--Mass Millions,

Fast Cash, The Winner's Circle.

I mean, how about a morereal name for a ticket,

like Fat Chance?

You know, or LoseYour Insulin Money?

Play and lose today!

Try our new game Tax the Poor.

I mean, I say callit what it is.

One time I wasplaying the lottery.

I did that quickpick thing, where

the machine picks outyour number for you.

I really felt like a moron.

I mean talk about notbeing a self-starter.

If I can't think offive numbers on my own,

I should be fired from life.

That day God should justpush the clouds back.

Yeah, hi, Chuck.

This is God.

I've been going over your file.

Been a mistake-- you weresupposed to be a chimp.

Yeah, I'm going tosend you there now.

You'll like it better.

There are fewer choices.

All you do is eatbananas, have sex, which,

come to think of it,is what most of us

would do if we won the lottery,so-- I gotta go, folks.