Henry Phillips - Bitch

  • Season 9 , Ep 23
  • 07/14/2005
  • Views: 7,330

It sucks to date a bitch. (2:34)

UM, I'D LIKE TO DO A SONG FOR

YOU NOW.

I THINK, UH...

♪♪

I'VE NEVER REALLY HAD

ANY LUCK WITH GIRLS AT ALL.

AND I ALWAYS GET THOSE LINES

THAT THEY GIVE YOU TO LET

YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED,

LIKE YOU KNOW, I'M SEEING

SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW OR I'M IN

A RELATIONSHIP OR I'M MARRIED OR

HOW'D YOU GET HERE, I THOUGHT

WE HAD A RESTRAINING ORDER,

WHERE YOU TAKING ME?

ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF YOU'RE

LIKE AH, THIS IS GOING NOWHERE.

AND THIS IS A SONG I WROTE ABOUT

A GIRL THAT I WAS SEEING OUT IN

CALIFORNIA ACTUALLY FOR ABOUT A

THREE MONTH PERIOD AND WE HAD

TO END IT EVENTUALLY JUST

'CAUSE, AH, HER PERIOD WAS

LASTING WAY TOO DAMN LONG FOR MY

LIKING.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT HER NAME'S LISA AND SHE'S

NOT HERE TONIGHT AND I THINK

THAT'S PROBABLY A GOOD THING

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK SHE'D LIKE

THIS SONG VERY MUCH BUT I HOPE

YOU ENJOY IT.

♪ SHE NEVER WAS ABUSED

♪ WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ HER FATHER

♪ NEVER UP AND RAN AWAY

♪ AND EVEN THOUGH

♪ HER FAMILY GAVE HER ALL

♪ THE LOVE SHE NEEDS

♪ SOME HOW SHE'S A BITCH

♪ ANYWAY

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU GUYS KNOW HER TOO,

APPARENTLY.

[LAUGHTER]

♪ ME I TRIED TO BE

♪ THE PERFECT HERO

♪ I SAID I LOVE YOU

♪ TWO THOUSAND

♪ [BLEEP] TIMES A DAY

♪ I SHOWERED HER

♪ WITH PRESENTS BOUGHT FROM

♪ THE FINEST SHOPS IN TOWN

♪ BUT SOMEHOW

♪ SHE'S A BITCH ANYWAY

♪ AND WHEN I TELL HER

♪ MY FUNNY STORIES

♪ SHE'D SAY WELL I GUESS

♪ YOU HAD TO BE THERE

♪ I PLAYED HER

♪ MY GUITAR SONG

♪ SHE SAID IT SUCKS

♪ AND WHEN THE EVENING NEWS

♪ SHOWS HOMELESS PEOPLE

♪ SHE SAYS IT'S

♪ THEIR OWN DAMN FAULT

♪ AND THEN SHE HITS ME UP

♪ FOR FIFTY BUCKS

♪ SOMEHOW SHE'S A BITCH

♪ ANYWAY

I'M SORRY I ALWAYS GET KINDA

EMOTIONALLY CHOKED UP

WHEN I SING THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

♪ SHE'S A [BLEEP] BITCH

♪ ANYWAY ♪

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

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