Freddy Soto - Practical Jokes

  • Season 7 , Ep 12
  • 05/01/2003
  • Views: 10,999

Freddy Soto's dad's idea of a joke was taking a picture of someone when they were pissed off. (3:55)

Freddy Soto: WE LOVE THOSE KINDS

OF THINGS, THOUGH.

WE LOVE PRACTICAL JOKES.

WE PLAYED THEM ALL THE TIME

IN MY HOUSE.

MY DAD LIKED TO TAKE PICTURES

OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE REALLY

PISSED OFF, YOU KNOW WHAT

I MEAN, JUST TO MAKE--

"LOOK AT HER FACE.

LOOK AT HER FACE!"

EVERY DAY, HE'D WAKE UP MY MOM

WITH A NEW WAY TO WAKE HER UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

HE'D WAKE HER UP, "ANNA,

FREDDY GOT HIT BY A CAR!

(SOUND OF CAMERA CLICKING)

HE-HE-HE-HE!

YOU BELIEVED ME, STUPID."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

THAT'S THE WAY I DID IT, MAN.

THAT'S THE WAY I DID IT WHEN

I WAS GROWING UP, HERE IN

THIS HOUSE WITH MY BARS AND THE

VIRGIN MARY THAT THE EYES MOVED.

(LAUGHTER)

I PUSHED IT TOO, MAN.

I PUSHED IT WITH MY PARENTS.

GUYS EVER COME HOME DRUNK?

I MEAN, LIKE REALLY--

(AUDIENCE CHEERS)

REALLY, REALLY, WASTED, WASTED

DRUNK WHERE YOU LIKE COME HOME

AND TAKE A LEAK IN ONE OF THEIR

CLOSETS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

LIKE THAT.

AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE WHO'S

WATCHING YOU.

(LAUGHTER)

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

TO MY CHOES!"

"YOU GOT ATHLETES FOOT.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

JUST TRYIN' TO HOOK YOU UP,

DUDE."

"YOU BETTER GO TO SLEEP,

ALL RIGHT?

TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA BE

THE EARLY BIRD, TOMORROW,

BELIEVE ME."

AND THEY MEAN IT, MAN.

YOU'RE GONNA BE THE EARLY BIRD.

THEY'LL WAKE YOU UP AT LIKE

5:30 IN THE MORNING.

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SHAKE

YOU TO WAKE YOU UP, ALL THEY

GOTTA DO IS STARE AT YOU.

FEELS LIKE THEY'VE BEEN THERE

ALL NIGHT, YOU KNOW.

JUST WATCHING YOU.

YOU OPEN YOUR LITTLE CRUSTY EYE.

"HEY, GOOD MORNING MR.

PARTY-TIME!

GET UP, YOU'RE GONNA RE-ROOF

THE HOUSE."

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'LL BE ON THAT ROOF, MAN,

AND YOU'LL BE WORKING, RIGHT?

THAT'S A FATHER AND SON, MOMENT,

MAN.

WHERE YOU'RE HUNG OVER AND HE'S

HUNG OVER, YOU'RE BOTH WORKING.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY SEND YOU TO GO LOOK

FOR STUFF, BUT THEY DON'T TELL

YOU WHERE IT IS.

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.

"GO FIND ME THE--

YOU KNOW, THE--

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, THE THING THAT I NEED.

GO FIND ME THAT.

WHAT-- THAT-- THAT--

YOU KNOW WHAT I--

LA COSA, LA COSA.

(APPLAUSE)

LA LATINERERA, THE THING THAT

I NEED TO DO, EH!"

(LAUGHTER.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS."

"FIND IT."

(LAUGHTER)

THEN THEY DON'T TELL YOU WHERE

IT IS.

"DAD, WHERE IS IT?"

"WELL, YOU LOOK, IT'S RIGHT

THERE."

(LAUGHTER)

"RIGHT THERE, MAN, WHAT ARE YOU

SAY--

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

'RIGHT THERE'?"

"WELL, RIGHT THERE.

IF YOU DON'T SEE IT RIGHT THERE,

THEN LOOK NEXT TO THE LEFT."

"NEXT TO THE WHAT, MAN?"

"IF YOU DON'T SEE IT ON THE

LEFT, THEN LOOK MORE LEFTER."

"MORE 'LEFTER'?

THAT NOT EVEN A WORD."

"I'M NOT IN SCHOOL, MR. ROGERS,

ALL RIGHT?

NOW LOOK ON TOP OF THE THING

BY THE SIDE ON THE MIDDLE.

NO, I ENTER LA COSA--

NEXT TO THE LEFT OF THE LEFTER!

NO, YOU'RE NOT LOOKING BECAUSE

I'M TELLING YOU NOT TO LOOK,

ON PURPOSE YOU'RE NOT LOOKING,

I'M TELLING YOU NOT.

(LAUGHTER)

OH, NO.

OH, OH, BUT IF IT WAS YOUR

FRIENDS THAT YOU GOT DRUNK WITH,

OH, I FOUND IT!

OH, LET ME LOOK HARDER FOR YOU,

CHARLIE.

LOOK, I FOUND IT.

LET'S GO GET DRUNK!"

(LAUGHTER)

"DAD, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN

TO--"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU BETTER FIND

IT.

BECAUSE IF I GO THERE

AND I FIND IT...

I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, MAN.

YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOU SEE IT

RIGHT NOW, YOU BETTER HIDE IT...

REGARDLESS."

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